Best Classic Movie Monsters, Ranked (With a Twist)

Hey y'all, welcome to another episode of Pastimes at 80s High. The cat that takes you back. Got another fun one for you today. What we are gonna do is our seven favorite monsters. Which is gonna be a loose term, I believe. We shall see what happens. Of course, as always, the boys. Hello, brother Mike.

Hey AJ. Today we prove we're true nerds, apparently. Indeed.

Kevin, you bastards. Good afternoon. Hello, Donald Ice Hole. Hey, what's up? Good. It's uh nothing. I hate it when people answer me incorrectly like I just did. How you doing today? Not much. It's like, okay, I see you care very much to listen to me.

Enjoy your dinner.

You too. The waitress isn't having dinner.

Why, why?

I do that one all the time.

Yeah. It's all the programmed responses.

When I'm at the restaurant and someone walks in, um, hey, how are you? Not much. They're just trying to rush to the bar. They don't give a fuck what I'm saying. Exactly. Well, anyway, as always, we get started out of the gate. But Kevin, of course, Mr. Shout Out.

Welcoming our new friends in Pearl, Mississippi. M-I-S-S-I-S-S-S-I-P-P-I.

Please don't draw me no diaphragms, huh?

If I remember correctly.

There you go.

Roanoke, Virginia. Upsala County, Sweden. And Rio Rancho, New Mexico.

Yes. Welcome, folks. Welcome. Yeah. Kevin, can you say the second one one more time, please? Roanoke, Virginia. Crowatoan. Crowatoan. Any, you guys know what that means. Anyway. It's a uh it's some evil thing where they're an island off of, I think, the Carolinas. Don't quote me out there, nerds. I may be wrong, but it was like a a witchy bit of an island.

Oh, honey. This land does not belong to the dead. You're the twin planter!

Crowatoan! Crowatoan!

It's it was like a season of uh a terrible season of American horror story, but it's based, it's based on a true fable, if you will. Crowatoan. I think it was written into the tree. I forget what it means, but maybe I can look it up before the end.

Ethnologists and anthropologists believe that the word Croatoan may have been a combination of two Algonquian words meaning talk town or council town.

In 1587, over 100 English settlers disappeared. They landed on Roanoke Island, off the coast of present-day North Carolina, to build a new life in the new world. Led by Governor John White, they struggled, and White sailed back to England for supplies. But due to war, he was delayed for three years. When White finally returned in 1590, he found something chilling. The entire colony had vanished. No people, no signs of a fight, no bodies. The only clue? The word Crowatoan carved into a tree.

I like the one with the pfft that when they were in the uh an insane asylum or whatever. Asylum. That one. Yeah, exactly. Yeah, no shit. Yeah.

Is that your kiss connection? Hey, there you go.

Gotta connect it to KISS. Perfect. Um, awesome. Thank you, new listeners. So I guess I have the honors today. And like I said, loosely, because you know, is it a monster? Might it be an alien? Might it be something else? Only God knows. We will use our best judgment, and I shall roll out first with my number seven. And I know I'm gonna say it wrong, but it's Cerberus or Cerebus. And this is um from Greek mythology, and he is a massive three-headed dog that guards the gates of the underworld, where he shall not allow any living to enter or dead to leave.

Cerberus was a monstrous dog with three heads, a serpent's tail, and a mane of vipers that guarded the gates of Hades. This beast from Greek mythology measured the size of a bull, with eyes that glowed red in darkness, and fangs that dripped black venom. Its job was simple but absolute. Allow the dead to enter the underworld, but prevent anyone from leaving, and keep away the living who attempted to enter without permission.

So very cool. Yes, he's awesome. He's battle axe. Um, I won't say movie names, but I've seen him in several. And I fucking love Greek mythology. I think it's really cool shit. And quite cool. Yes. But Cerebus, who is he?

So it does the cool name of a band.

Because I was looking at different ones, and it it the hyphen, the accent is on the first syllable, so it's Cerberus. Cerberus.

Okay, I think I said it right the first time. Yes, you did.

But let it right, let it go right there, and Ben Fine.

Awesome. Well, I went by the spelling. All right, Dongo, I'll go to you quickly then.

Yes. All right, so uh I um I'm all over the place as usual, but uh I do like I did have one common theme and a shout out to the OG of Monster Movies, and he was the uh Ray Harry Hawson, who was uh in you know, kind of like master at the stop motion photography. Yes. Oh so a lot of us uh older folk that didn't have the didn't grow up in the CGI phase, kind of grew up in the stop motion photography phase. So that's uh kind of where we started our monster movies from. And I I liked it, you know. I mean it it's not as um natural looking as CGI, but for uh when you're a kid, you don't notice that stuff, and it was pretty cool. So my first one being a navy guy, I uh I have to go with Release the Kraken. Yes, indeed the Kraken.

Great Zeus, below on earth, it is now the eve of the longest day.

Release the Kraken.

I love the Kraken, I love all the renditions of it, but my favorite one is in the movie Clash of the Titans. Yes, um indeed him said movie that Cerberus was in that I was going to mention. And I'm gonna watch that movie tonight.

Oh, look at this. Oh, look at that. Put him where are you gonna put them in the in the little thing in the middle? We should, Kevin. Why don't you say what you're holding up?

Oh I didn't think we'd go into it's a tap marker um from my years bartending. It's the only one that I ever kept because there were so many of them, and it is from uh Storm Along. I think it was a cider, and it's a it's a Kraken Kraken attacking a ship captain.

Awesome. All it made me think of is in Clash of the Titans when Zeus is putting like the things wherever he wants. You know, he had a little figurine of everyone on Earth, yeah, that he could move them around. It looked like that's what you were holding up. That is cool, right? Wow, Donald. I apologize. Continue.

No, you're you're you're cool.

Love the crack, yeah.

Oftentimes portrayed is like an octopus type of creature or a uh uh cephalopod, yeah, giant squid.

But the one you want to talk about stop motion, what a great stop motion, and you know what?

Yeah, fucking CGI, in my opinion, sometimes I think ruins things because they definitely try to be yeah, exactly, overboard, like in the Superman where you know whatever city was just blown up 45,000 times, you know, exactly. And in the theater, you're just like, okay, I can't take any more explosions and stuff, you know.

I'm done with it. I'm over it. And then uh uh just if you guys out there uh love Clash of the Titans, of course, Dongo. I'm talking about the original, I'm sure you are too. Yes, yes. Um, but 1981. Yes, such a favorite of mine. Watch the beginning with the bird flying through.

It's flying straight for him.

Just talk about stop motion where you see the shadow. It's incredible. All right. Great pick, Donald. And off to you, Kev.

All right. So I'm gonna go back to the beginning of the modern science fiction monster, and that would be 1818, Mary Shelley's Frankenstein. Because I mean, aside from the biblical and the historical stuff, that's really where it all started. And it's kind of funny because by the time we were around and aware, we had we already had Herman Munster.

That's how they connect the those right bones do to do to do to do to do to do with Doctor Frankenstein is where my story starts. Everything I have may not be mine, but I'm a gentleman of parts. Microphones connected to my shoulder.

The whole Frankenstein monster thing was kind of comical in in some respects. The old movies, the old black and white movies were um not anything like you know the stuff they make today. I think there's probably been 8.7 million Frankenstein movies. Oh, yeah. Uh most of them. I I watched that last one that came out last year with uh Oscar, what's his name, from Star Wars, and it was just like it made no sense to me at all. Trying to be something that it wasn't, but I couldn't even get into it either. Yeah. Just kind of interesting that that first of all, that it was a female that wrote it and it wasn't originally published in her name. Um, she got the idea while she was uh touring along the Rhine, and she went to Frankenstein's castle um in Hesse. There was uh Jonathan Conrad Dipple, who was an alchemist just trying to turn lead into gold. And so that experimentation and then galvanism, which was where they discovered that our muscles are electric. So they would, you know, the guy was like putting electricity to frogs' legs, dead frogs' legs, and making them move. So it's almost like it's weird because like all of it was there for her. You know what I mean?

You just looking at her name Abby, by the way, Abby Normal.

Mary Shelley. That's Frankenstein, which is it in my mind, my absolute favorite Frankenstein movie is young Frankenstein. Oh, without question. Nice grouping. Uh such a fantastic. So anyway, I it was just interesting to read about her and her experiences and what her led to her. I think there was also some hallucinogens and and whatever else involved in that story as well, with some other writers from the time poets. But just interesting that those things were all happening, and she just kind of combined them into that story that is epic.

Put some reality into it, if you think, right?

Well, think about way back, like Da Vinci was doing autopsies and drawing body parts. You you there had to have been people that tried to, like, oh, you lost your arm. Let me cut off this arm and see if I can sew it on. Yeah, you know, like trying to experiment with humans and stuff. I bet, yeah, that makes sense.

Didn't they find like hundreds of bodies underneath Ben Franklin's house? No, there was, I mean, like all of the I mean it's it's it's one of those weird things that um like a lot of the knowledge, a lot of the medical knowledge we had came from Mengela.

Yeah, damn.

He was doing like experiments that you would never exactly let happen in broad daylight in today's world. Um, but but we there were benefits from those experiments, uh right, which is which is disgustingly sad, right? Yeah, but yeah, uh but you know, somebody had to be the first person to be like, hey, that guy's dead. Let's cut him apart.

Right, let's see what's in there. Let's see what's inside us, yeah. Let's see, let's see what's in there. Uh, real quick before I move on to you, Mark, um Boris Karloff. You know, um he was the original not the original original, but he wasn't he the one who played Frankenstein's monster in like one of the first movies, yeah. I he was, I'm near certain. But the scene where he meets up with the little girl. Do you guys know what I'm talking about? And she's like throwing daisies or something into the river, and he's like just trying to be sweet and nice. Yeah. And then I think she has don't quote me on this either, but I think she has like a flower on her little dress. So when they run out of flowers, he picks her up and tosses her in, just thinking it's funny and playing, and he's laughing and he drowns the little girl. And she dies. I know it's not funny, but it's it's a really intriguing scene if you think about it, because this guy's just you know slow in the head with someone else's brain, and it's Abby Normal's Abby Normal's brain, yes.

Yeah, 1931. He played Frankenstein's monster.

Yeah, yeah, incredible. Awesome. All right, brother Mark. That is to you.

So I'm gonna my number seven, um, it's from a movie I saw when I was eight, I do believe. It bombed in Japan. It was a cult classic here in the States. It's Godzilla vs. Megalon. Oh boy. And uh, you know, I don't remember all that much about the movie, but I do know the match at the end. It was Godzilla and some robot against Megalon.

Huh? Mecha Godzilla.

Yeah, well, it was, you know, we had Megalon on my side with uh so now you've had three picks, Mark.

Keep going.

I did not pick, I am picking Megalon, who got screwed over. Okay, first of all, I think the ref had a quick count at the end, but let me tell you something about Godzilla. He's just like Hulk Hogan. He comes out into the ring after his what is his name? Mega Godzilla's getting his ass kicked, you know? Probably Mega Godzilla was doing everything in there. He was probably he was doing all the work, and then Hogan comes in and gets the count, or Godzilla comes in and wins the match, and the crowd goes nuts. And that pisses me off. Megalon had that match won. Yes, indeed. Insecticide or whatever, insecticide.

Yeah, he was a insecticide. So they want people like your mother down there because they know they got no freaking screwed ideas.

How do you pronounce it?

I don't know, but we got about three bunkers here. Go on. Whatever.

That's one of my favorite scenes. Yeah. You watch that movie, too. He like, he like gets all like I'm coming after you. He jukes. And then he does that like cruise on his tail thing that I always joke about. He just lifts his feet and starts sliding across the thing.

I love it, dude. Really pissed me off.

Drop kicks him, you know, whatever. Megalodon.

I was the only one room for Megalon in the whole theater. It was a packed house. It was the only theater we had in town. There must have been 25,000 people there, even though the town only had 5,000. But uh, okay, a little embellishment. But yeah, the uh Godzilla is just like Hulk Hogan, the wrestler. Yes, indeed. So yeah, that's my number seven.

Awesome, awesome. And so Megalodon. And no, no, no.

That no, there was a Godzilla vs. Megalodon. Oh this is Megalon. Megalodon.

You're picking Megalon?

M-E-G-A-L-O-N.

Or are you picking Godzilla?

Oh god, no, I'm picking Megalon. Wait, Godzilla? Are you giving oh yeah, I'm gonna root for somebody that gets comes in at the team with all that energy, wins the match, goes off, everyone loves him. I'm sorry. No, I would not pick him. I picked Meg Alon.

All right, gotcha. All right, and for the record, it's not Mega Godzilla, it's Mecha Godzilla is in mechanical. But anyway.

Okay, bunker, here I come. 50 times.

Awesome. Okay, boys, back to me, are we? And you are six. This is the one where I, you know, I'm like, is it alien? Is it monster? But this goes back in time for me. And speaking of that, maybe they are a little bit of a time traveler. And this would be the slea stacks. Oh, geez. Okay. I love the sleax. I had to go with it because boy, when you when I was researching and I looked the pictures up and saw how cheesy they looked, it's like, how was I afraid of that? I was scared to shit. Not to be confused with the red one, which they did not give a name for, and I swear he had a name, but I couldn't find it, damn it. But the red one was the one who spoke English. Yeah. But the green slea stacks frightened me as a boy, and man, oh man, did I fucking love the land of the lost. Yes. Just incredible.

The actor was the best I've ever seen in my life.

Incredible. Marshall Will and Holly were they, I think they are each one best actor in one season.

Yeah, and who's the guy that played the uh well, I don't want to bring him up because he could be considered a monster, but the Chuckka? Little Yeah. He's not a monster. I don't know what the hell he was, but he was.

I wonder if his leg ever healed right with that splint will put on it. But anyway, Enoch. Enoch sleeve in the advanced sleestack. Yes. And he was red and he said it.

Easy dead.

I was right.

This is the key to us getting out of here. Look so much a key as a divining rod. The intrusion. And listen, whoever you are thinks, those monsters are my ancestors. I am of the generation to be born to this place. Ten thousand. Perhaps. A hundred thousand years from now.

You mean you're not alive yet?

Like myself, you have fallen through a dimensional doorway. In my case, however, only time was affected, not location. Those monsters are my antecedents.

I knew he said his name in an episode, but they just called him like the slea stack leader or something. All right. Off to you, Dongo.

So for my number six is tied into my number one, is also a uh stop motion from Ray Harry Hosson. And it took down the Kraken, and it was the head of Medusa. And I love Medusa. Yeah, because she is a bad bitch.

Oh no, she's yeah, she's been they've been replicating her for centuries now, yeah.

Except for the yeah, uh yeah. You know, Greek mythology, obviously, she's one of the one of the top ones of the uh I'll have to think of it. Gorgon Titans? Gorgons. That's it. She's a Gorgon. Yeah, and uh she's one of the sisters, she was the only one that was mortal, so she was able to be killed by Perseus in Clash of the Titans, and he used her head to kill the Kraken.

Yes, I'm indeed what happens when you look at her on the city. Turn the stone.

Oh wow, that's turn to stone. If her blood touches you, it is evil, evil, yeah. She is a mean by touch. Carry this sword, Perseus. Is she of Perseus? Someday save your life.

Say again. Never mind.

Oh, you mother eff of Donald. Great clips. Awesome though. Yeah, she's incredible. All right, Kev.

Yeah, Medusa is definitely on my short list, but very cool. Um, so I'm gonna talk about a transdimensional, malevolent entity that resurfaced every 27 years. He was discovered in our world by the Losers Club, Bill Denbro, his little brother Georgie. I'm talking about Pennywise. Yes, indeed. Oh we all float down here, Georgie.

I thought it go without fist. Exactly. Go on, kiddos. Take it. Oh you want it, don't you, Georgie? Oh, of course you do. And it's got plenty of fries and all sorts of surprises down here. I believe all colors. Is it? Oh yeah.

When you're down here with me, you float.

Richie Tozer, Ben Hansen, Beverly, Marsh, Mike Hanlon. Such a scary, frightening. I mean, that was I was heavily into King in '86. I read everything that he put out, and that was the one that was. I just remember buying the book, the hardcover, and it was four inches thick going the rest of my life. Yeah. Reading that 600 plus pages or something like that. But call me when you finish. Yeah, right. Such a such a great novel, um, and such a frightening monster just because of that, you know, they they call it the uncanny valley, and it's the more human a monster is, the more scarier they are to us. And just that whole thing of, you know, clowns were supposed to be entertainment and humorous, but never in my existence, even before it. And I think that's what King tapped into, is like as a little kid, those things are freaking scary. I don't care as hell. Like just too animated, too weird, too bizarre. So I guess you could say any clown at all.

But Vince McMahon tapped into it too with the great Doink the Clown. Doink, yep. When he was a heel at first, and they turned him face, but yeah.

But Pennywise in the novel was fantastic. Tim Curry was excellent, even though the 80s version was a little or 90s version was a little bit cheesy. Um, and then Skarsgard in the last two or three, the two movies, and then the series that was just on HBO, is really like he takes it to uh a whole nother level. He was awesome, just frightening.

Bill Skarsgard, right? Yes, there's like a bunch of them.

Many Skarsgards, yes.

Isn't one of them on uh there was a True Blood? Thank you.

True Blood Eric. I think no, yeah, that's Eric the clown, I think I'm thinking about the guy that played Eric, yes. Yeah, Alexander Skarsgard. Alexander how I how did I not remember that name? It's me. Anyway, great pick, Kev. What a great book, too, man. I used to love reading his novels. Now I just do audiobooks, but he was awesome.

All right, brother Mark. Okay, well, this one is uh a mythical creature. Maybe he's real. It's basically the sea monster. I mean, I had written down Lochness Monster, you have champ. I mean, he looks like a Bronosaurus kind of swimming in the in the water. As a child, I we used to go to St. Johnsbury, Vermont to go school clothes shopping and everything, and go to howdy beef burger. But anyway, every time we went by the reservoir, I was certain this friggin' reservoir went for like 72 miles, it seemed to me, as a little boy. And I was convinced that there was a sea monster in there. And now, even when we go to breakfast and take a shortcut across the way, there's the long pond. It's a reservoir. I'm telling you, the long pond monster is swimming in there. He hibernates in the uh wintertime because you know it freezes over, but but yeah, that that I don't want to call it a myth. I don't know, but it has always fascinated me to know when.

Yes. Now, are you going with the long pond monster or the loch ness monster? I'm just going with sea monster.

So supposedly, please don't draw me no diaphragms, huh?

There is monster sighting similar to Loch Ness in Lake Champlain. Yeah, champ. Exactly. Second cousin to Lochness.

Yes, I mean Disney. Oh, yeah, no, they're related, you know, but there's only one and he lived forever.

Maybe, maybe Nessie just spends her summers in Scotland. In the Hampshire. No, no, no, in Lake Champlain. I mean, I think her home is is Scotland, right? So it's just summer over here.

Loch Ness is in Scotland, and yeah, she just takes the boat over. They have a little, I mean, they have a massive like saltwater pool down there. She sits in there.

She might swim. She just swims through the long pond when she's in your area.

She goes through the like long pond on long pond road there. And yeah, but but in my mind, these monsters, these creatures live in reservoirs. Yes, so you gotta be careful with your drinking water. You may have a little uh scaly in it. Scaly Yeah, exactly.

It's a little messy piss in your water, right? So, Mark, um, yes, I have to write something down. So what I'm just I'm just confused still whether it's Nessie, Chappie, Sigmund, what sea monster are we doing?

Well, like it's Loch Ness Monster. Okay, all right.

I just I just need to for clarity. Well, I just you know we're gonna do uh Nessie, yeah.

Yeah, I figured someone was gonna have that. Yeah, well, it's nice.

It could also be three tires tied together, but we don't know.

Right. I know I know I love watching those clips. Oh yeah. Yes, awesome, brother. All right, we are up to number five, yes, five, and this is one that most people probably won't know, and I hate to repeat things, but this is from a movie called The Beastmaster, and the only name I could find for these guys is the Winged Devourers, okay? And they are these red creatures, very tall, that look like very tall humans, only they're bright red with pretty much a flat, no-face thing with like bat wings, veiny bat wings, and they open those wings up and wrap it around a human and put their head down, and next thing you know, the human turns to to slime, kind of like Nickelodeon, and when they open their wings up, just a bunch of bones drop. And these guys are so fucking cool, they come to the rescue for dar. If you gotta watch the movie first of all, because as cheesy as it is, it's incredible. But these things were creepy as hell back in the 80s to me, and fun as hell. And Kevin, I know you you had posted something about free HBO weekend. Yes, I don't know if there is a movie that they showed over those free weekends more than the Beastmaster, and I fucking loved it, just incredible.

I'm trying to think of the one that I did like more than that one, and it's uh it was a it was a King Arthur, similar type of movie, very dark. I think it was from like Merlin's perspective, and I can't think of the name of it. Um but it was a little bit uh a little risque. Yeah, probably shouldn't have probably shouldn't have been watching it.

It wasn't on Skinemax free weekend.

No, no, I'm talking pre-Skinemax. HBO was the only game in town. Awesome. I'll think of it eventually, but it was it was just a nope, it's not coming to be daggy nabbit.

Not gonna happen.

Senior moment. We'll figure it out.

Orion Pictures presents John Bowman's Excalibur. They are warriors, lovers, pain, men of swords, sorcery, and design. The only fear is the pain of love. Excalibur Rigonar.

Alright. Okay, Donga, what do you got?

All right, this is definitely an alien. It's a monster, alien, and like Mark had the fight bill. This has a fight bill too, and I actually saw a really cool poster that I want to buy because it's got uh Captain Kirk versus Gorn. Gotta tie it to track. Scotty, beat me up. I knew it. And if you've seen the episode, uh it's uh season one, episode 18. Uh the original show. Yes, the original Star Trek. And it's it's like a green lizard-looking humanoid body, and him and Kirk are fighting on this planet in slow motion in Vasquez Rocks national area in in uh California. And uh it's just a classic Kirk versus Alien fight, you know, where he's got to outsmart him because the the alien Gorn is um quite strong and gonna beat him, but you know, Kirk Kirk outsmarts him too wits and yeah, yeah, it's a good fight.

But it is a good fight in slow motion, like I can still see the punches coming.

You keep getting me killed. I thought you had my back.

Okay.

I gotta tell you something though, Dongo, because I was I was at work yesterday with my buddy Dan, bartender, and one of our regulars, John, comes in often, and I brought this subject up. I'm like, boys, I need some help here. And we were just discussing it. And they both brought up actually, I think John brought up Gorn. Oh, and we were talking about said fight that you were discussing at this moment. So it's a classic. They'll appreciate that when they listen. Dan's a thank you, Dan, for being a regular listening hair. Thanks, Dan.

Yeah, go off on a tangent, but I just would like to say that I always felt that that was incredible life. I mean, first of all, you well, just anyone on that starship. I mean, uh yeah, what what the enterprise, the enterprise, the enterprise, but just to be able to go visit all these planets, I mean, it's it you know, it would not be like a fun thing, and but but it would be, in other words, of course the intrigue of going to all these places where no man has gone before, yeah, where you are traveling. Yeah, yeah, we should really like that. I mean, uh, maybe in 68 million years, who knows, uh humans will be smart enough to do it.

But as soon as we find how to go to the speed of light, we'll be good.

Yeah, actually, you gotta go, you gotta go faster than the speed of light, because even at the speed of light, you're talking millions of years. It's impossible though. You cannot worm holes holes, yeah. You can work quantum entanglement, yes, quarks and such. Yeah, yeah.

Uh but you have to wonder if you're traveling at the speed of light and you turn your headlights on, does anything happen?

Nope. It's very cool that that's like Stephen right. They do the throw, the throwing the tennis ball experiment, but um, yeah, you can only go 99.999999% the speed of light, proven by Einstein.

So but we don't know what their technology is in other planets, we do not know it.

Quantum mechanics, Donald. I believe that is how it can be done. Yes, yes, yep, electrons do it all the time.

Yeah, if you guys spend a little time working on it, I'm sure we'll get it figured out.

Me too, right after I build my computer from scratch.

And we'll just uh yeah, we'll talk I'll figure it out and then we'll we'll reveal it to the world. We'll do the big reveal. All right, Kevin, let's go to you.

That should kick up our audience.

Okay, so I'm viral. All of us, like all of us, I'm having a bit of love-hate relationship with AI, but there are times when it's good. So the movie I was just trying to think of before is Excalibur. Yes, and one of the great I I think versions of that story. Helen Miren, yep, Gabrielle Byrne, um, Liam Neeson, nice, Patrick Stewart. I mean, quite a cast, and it was a very dark telling of that tale, but not a monster, just a sword and a stone. But so that's that's what that was. So I will now move on to my pick, which I think as a young child, and it still resonates with me, scared the hell out of me more than anything else. I remember falling asleep, probably four, maybe five years old, on my grandparents' living room floor and waking up, and I don't know what movie was. It was a black and white, probably Zombie Island or something like that. But fucking zombies were just like, oh my god, it just scared the living crap out of me, and all of the Night of the Living Dead, and all that, just all of those zombie movies just really leveled me. Uh really. Yeah, and now I go out into the world, and it's like maybe that's what it was a premonition that I was gonna end up living in a world where they're driving cars in front of me and talking to me in supermarkets and whatever else. But it's just something about until they're hungry, yeah. Right. The the un the undead just being mindless and and wanting brains, yeah, um a little Haitian history there. I think that's where the modern zombie came from. Um but you know that it did it's it's comes from the French word returning, as in reanimation of a cadaver. So that's a revenant is is the word that uh became zombie. Um common through Europe back in the day. Um they used to they the research archaeologists have found 4,000 years ago. This is how long, how far back these go. They found people buried with stones on their feet, bricked in. Wow, um crazy pieces of of their body because they were afraid that they were gonna come back to life. They they removed legs and pieces of their bodies. So this was a real problem back in the day. Right? Hell yeah. Right? That's incredible. We're pretty sure AJ's gonna come back to life and and and haunt us as a zombie. So let's lop his right arm off.

I don't like the cast you guys did.

Uh that's a bit morbid. What makes you think I'm going before you guys?

I just, you know, I was looking at you, kid. That's all.

Awesome. I love zombies, meaning I I agree with you, Kev. I have a great fear of being eaten alive.

If I see any, I'll send them your way.

Since you have such a pens. You know, Bill Murray, I mean, Bill Murray would still be alive if he didn't dress up as a zombie in zombie land.

That was pretty hilarious. Yeah, I just walked on the green. Was that that one where he's like, I just walked on the you know, PGA course, it's probably impossible to get on.

He's what's with uh the getup?

Oh, I do it to blend in. You know, you know, zombies don't mess with other zombies. Buddy of mine, makeup guy, showed me how to do this cornstarch, you know, some berries, a little licorice for the ladies. Suits my lifestyle. You know, I like to get out and do stuff. Just played Nine Holes of Riviera, just walked on. Nobody there.

God damn it, Bill!

Fucking money!

I just walked on. It was great. That's a great movie, actually.

Great pick, Kev. All right, brother. All right, well, I'm going. Uh, this is probably I believe it's the first repeat. I'm going with Frankenstein. And um, my theory in the whole thing is is he really the monster? He's not the monster, it's the guy that created him that is the true monster.

I disagree. I think the monster are the townspeople, but go on. Yeah, that's a good townspeople. Good discussion, yeah.

I mean, but you know, he reminds me, okay, Dark Shadows borrowed from all these stories, and they were trying to cure Barnabas's uh vampirism and uh with them growing up college. Anyway, what vampirism?

What okay, I never wedge it in.

It's like you guys wedged it in. It struck me, and I'm thinking Pfizer's probably working on something for that.

Oh, yeah, probably. Yeah, but uh no, they they created this guy, and he was basically the same thing, just he was a good soul, but he did. I mean, soul, I mean, it was made by cadavers and everything. Yeah, same story, and uh I mean they had good intentions, but I don't know uh much about uh the good yeah. I just don't I think that there were monsters that were far worse than Frankenstein himself. That's the moral of my pick, you know.

Right, and AJ brought up a good point, you know. It it's actually the town folk who are showing the you know the ignorance and the evil. They were the thing ones, exactly. Yeah, because of fear.

Well, they did spawn a great TV show anyway with uh Herman Munster, and uh I picked him as Father of the Year or whatever it was, uh who do you want as a father? And um So yeah, but I I I just think that he's supposedly the scary one and it was the human condition at the time.

Indeed. Indeed.

All right. So we're up to number four. Foreign. Foreign. All right. I'm going with another, you know, favorite out there. We've we've had Frank in there. I'm going with the werewolf. Okay. And I'm gonna get a little specific here. Three-way specific. The movie Silver Bullet, another great king um read, I believe. Actually, I can't remember if that was uh it's its own book or if it was one of the short stories, but you know, just incredible to me. I loved that movie, it was a lot of fun. But then there uh in Van Helsing, the werewolf was awesome, and um American Werewolf in London. That's a strange point. It's just you want to talk about good graphics in an older movie. I mean, it's eighties, but just incredible and so much fun, but just creepy, you know? I mean, full moon, baby. And I love it, and I mean, it's gone on for decades into so many movies. The in everything, there's a werewolf, even in movies where it's not about werewolves, they incorporate them, you know what I mean? Like true blood mark, you brought that up. They have werewolves in it.

Oh, they have wear everything on that. Yeah, where foxes, wear links. Yeah, I mean, God, she went Charlene Harris went way too far on that show, but but yes, the werewolf's a lot of fucking fun, in my opinion.

And oh yeah, it's a lore that goes on forever.

Thank you. The story just keeps going on and on. Yep. Um that's the word.

Lichen, what is the word for it? Lichen.

Lichen. I think it is lichen. Yeah, I lichen them.

There's a condition that actually a medical condition that I've seen that kids look like werewolves.

This is hypertrichosis, also known as werewolf syndrome. It's one of the rarest genetic conditions in the world, causing excessive hair growth all over the body, even on the face.

Oh, yeah, hairy people. But you you gotta you gotta think that all of these in their root, all of these things were based on some kind of reaction. It was something that was happening. People are definitely affected by the cycles of the moon. Oh, hell yeah. Yeah, and AJ, it was originally, yeah, it was originally cycle of the werewolf, and it was a novella.

It wasn't a full exactly. Do you know which one it was in? Skeleton Crew, maybe, but I can't remember.

I I want to say it was Skeleton Crew. I don't think it was it wasn't a Bachman, it was a it was a Stephen King. It wasn't his alias or his nom de plume. Awesome books, all of them, but yeah, it's a great, a great story, and and like I was saying, it it's all of these, you know, like talking about Mary Shelley and Frankenstein, that that these little pieces existed, and then somebody extrapolated them into a monster.

Yes, incredible, and it makes it that much more interesting when you see the backstories, you know, like and how they came about. That was a great one you did on your first one, Kev.

Part of my love for King is the fact that I'm from Maine originally, and you could read his book and he would describe where a town was. Oh, yeah. And I and I knew the town to the north of where he was talking about, and I knew the town to the south of where he was talking about. And there were a couple times as a kid that I opened up the map to look, I'm like, I have I I know that area, but I've never seen that town. Missouri Shore. We didn't have the internet then, right? Didn't know, right? It was, you know, he talked about dairy and and he described where it was, and I was like, Yeah, I I know that area. Um, is there a castle rock, Kev? I don't believe so.

All right. Anyway, that's a great pick.

All right, dongo, off to you. All right, so this one was from a B movie in 1982, and uh it's called the movie was called The Winged Serpent. And the beast, the beast, and I I have to use um a phonetic to see how to pronounce it, it's very difficult. Ketzakolata. What? Ketzakolata.

Uh Ketzakolata. Ketzalkoatl, known as the feathered serpent, is one of the most important deities in Aztec mythology.

Which is uh which is a um Aztec god, but it it it looks like a dragon, it basically a dragon, but an Aztec dragon. So in this movie, this 1982 cheese ass movie, uh this beast uh makes a nest on top of a building in New York City. And it's got David Carradine, who we all know you know, did himself in a in a Thai uh hotel with you know, choked himself to death. Um, it's got Michael Moriotti, who was famous for uh uh Law and Order, yeah, who's a main character in it, and it's got uh Richard Browntree, who's uh famous for Shaq.

Who is the man that would risk his net for his brother man?

And he's the probably in the way that the I gotta watch this movie too, but in the in the um in the uh trailer for it, it appears that uh Richard Browntree is the only black man in the city of New York. You know, there's there's only one black man, and everybody, you know, the other eight million people in New York are white. Yeah, so you guys know that yeah, they were absolutely you know probably pretty racist when they were making movies back in the 80s. Um but uh it's just funny to this thing's flying around grabbing people, eating them. You know, you know, you're your classic serpent dragon type creature. Yes, petzako. I can't say it.

I think it's evil lies in trying to pronounce its damn name.

Yeah, that's I thought you were freaking Donnie. AKA the winged serpent. That's so much easier.

Yeah, that yeah, we could have just stayed with that. Right.

I it just makes me happy, Donnie, to hear the way you say beast. The winged beast. Winged. Makes me happy.

Awesome pick. And now a short commercial break.

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Pop rocks, Jack, stretch armstrong, Jack, the Bionic Man. Jack. You've gone back in time. This is past times at 80 high.

Number foe is going to be a struggling writer who's recovering from alcoholism in a story written by a recovering alcoholic that's a struggling writer. I am talking about our friend Stephen King at first, of course, in 1977. And this one's a little different. The Overlook Hotel is the monster because that's where it's all encapsulated. Oh, wow. Yeah, reading up on it recently. I mean, I read the book a hundred years ago. I've seen every incarnation of the movie, and I still think as much as King hates it, Kubrick's version was absolute genius, and all the stuff that was hidden in it. And if you like any kind of conspiracy weirdness, room 237 covers all of the theories about Kubrick faking the moon landing and then admitting it in that movie, and it's just fun stuff, it's it's great, but absolutely a frightening, one of the most frightening movies that I've ever seen. And it was indeed because Delbert Grady, the caretaker, uh, as well as Jack Torrance and all the people that did things that were evil were being possessed by the hotel itself. Eevee. Eevee.

Well, I mean, you know, you could be a very dull boy if you don't get any just work, you know.

Just just that scene of Danny on his big wheel. Yeah, and the sound going from the carpet to the hard floor to the carpet to the hard floor, and it's just like, oh my god. That's like like the music in Jaws. You know what I mean? Exactly. It was like that sound just drew you in, and you're like, so by the time the actual like you see the two scary little girls and the blood coming out of the elevator, you're so ready to be scared shitless just from the sound.

You're like, Come play with us.

Come play with us, Daddy.

You know, the labyrinth that's outside the hedges, you know. Oh, I love that hedge.

Labyrinth.

That's part of it, you know.

So for sure, yeah. And Jack, baby. God, what a great performance, man. Danny's in here.

This is our second metaphor of monster because AJ said like the the humans in Frankenstein were the monster. Yeah, that was like the building. And it it's I like it. I like that you know, evil can manifest itself in many ways.

Awesome. Great pick. The first building of the day, and it makes perfect sense, right? Yeah, awesome. All right, brother here.

Okay, don't make me angry. You won't like me when I'm angry, Mr.

McGee. Don't make me angry. You wouldn't like me when I'm angry. Yeah.

So obviously, I'm picking the incredible Hulk. Um, we all have an incredible Hulk in us. Yeah. Other than that we don't turn into a giant green monster like Lou Ferrigno, loaded with steroids, but uh, but yeah, I mean it's it's I it's kind of on the Jekyll and Hyde story. And um, you know, if you say something that really gets me angry, I'm probably gonna change on a dime and then turn into the green guy, you know what I'm saying?

Right. I love that he couldn't control it, you know. He uh it was all based on his anger.

It was based exactly emotion. It's like yeah, I don't care. I'm trying like how but that fucking what he's saying is pissing me off. God, man. I he could have never been in a relationship. Yeah, he'd be green full time.

Well my god, that's why I love that. Yeah, I don't know what error that was, but it was like early 80s, maybe late 70s, you know, the banner, the music for that was so depressing. Oh man. And he's just walking down the road like alone. He had to be alone because he couldn't he couldn't even have a roommate because as soon as yeah, you stole my fucking ketchup, man.

You like oh that was feature pizza, that was mine, yeah.

Maybe that's why he had to keep moving because he kept killing his girlfriends or his roommates. Right. There's there's a there's a great scene in um Family Guy where Stewie's walking down the road with a backpack, he goes, Oh, oh, play the Hulk music. Oh, oh, play play play that sad walking away song from the incredible hulk. Hey, everyone, look at me! Look at me, just finger out that music starts, and you're like right there.

He was a monster based on the human condition, you know. Yeah, we we we all have a dark side, and that's basically where I was going with this. And he was definitely somebody that didn't want his dark side to be shown to the public or to anyone he was with, and unfortunately, it really came through with this guy, so with Bixby there.

So how did he go from being dressed as Bill Bixby to being Ferrigno in green and the ripped pants, and then he was Bill Bixby and he was dressed again?

He spent a lot of money and he probably used a lot of thrift shops, right? Right, right, right. But uh just one quick thing before we move forward is I always knew him growing up as David Banner, and I think we discussed this in the past, but I think was it on the show they didn't find one of the names to be correct for it? Did one of you guys bring that up? I think we talked about that before, yeah. You know, like why they because it's Bruce, right? He it's Bruce Banner, right? The original. And I was gonna say I David does ring a bell too. Because he was David Banner in the in the show that you're talking about. And I think they for some reason they were like, Bruce doesn't seem right, and it's just fucked to me. Like, why? What is wrong with it's like Mike doesn't work?

You know the main reason was believability for television at the time. The creators wanted to show the show to feel more grounded and realistic, not comic book styled. The producer Kenneth Johnson felt Bruce Banner sounded too light or cartoonish for a serious drama. David Banner sounded more ordinary and believable for a medical scientist.

That just sounds fucked to me. Yeah. You were that's you just go with your birth name, people.

Right. I wonder if the ELO song Don't Bring Me Down Bruce was out at the time.

Unbelievable. All right, where are we here? Number three, correct?

Tree to the all right.

Well, a lot of you people may have read this in high school, but I'm going with a creature from Beowulf, and his name would be Grendel. And Grendel, yes, and I loved this book. I had to do a report on it when I was a senior, and just yeah, and believe it or not, he's a descendant, they say, of Cain, of Cain and Abel. Yeah, and just I mean, the most recent movie they put out was like a I can't even describe what it was. I was watching it a scene from it yesterday, but it's almost like it's not anime, it's not cartoon, but it's not exactly regular camera. It's really fucked up how they filmed it. But Grant, and that's I don't even think I can use that version of him. I'm using the guy from the book, but that version of him was pretty fucking scary because the what the issue was is kind of like Frankenstein, if you will, he was like he was bothered by noise. Like, and I found this funny because it made me think of me, but he hated joy.

So like like the guy from Sombertown on was it Santa Claus? Anyway, yeah.

So you mean losing look at everybody's glum.

I'm happy that everybody's glum. Anyway, he he hated joy, but he had his eardrums had issues really bad. So when they would sing in the mead hall, he would come and you know kill people and torture them. And it was really sad because he just he hated it, and he just wanted them to shut up. It's like get off my lawn, sort of thing. Turn that music. But but he he scared the shit out of me, even reading the book. Is it Shakespeare? Am I going crazy right now? But yeah, it it was just he was a fucking incredible, terrifying monster because of of what he did. But like Frankenstein, Frankenstein's monster, he, you know, I don't think he wanted to do it, I think he just couldn't fucking take it.

Motoros on the glad mode.

Like a lot of people in this world, you know what I mean. I can relate to them exactly, and I'll leave yeah, especially with your ears, Kevin.

Right?

All right, Donko, I'll go to you. All right, so going back to another stop motion classic, and it was uh Jason and the Argonauts, 1963 movie, and it was Talos.

Yep.

So Talos in in the Greek, it was a bronze man, but in that movie, the Jason and the Argonauts, they made it like he was huge and it was awesome for 1963. It was awesome graphics, and this big bronze giant statue coming after uh Jason and the Argonauts, and then he ended up defeating the creature by like unscrewing his ankle a la, like you know, Achilles heel kind of thing, and he had blood of like molten lava that came out and then he collapsed. But it was just cool for 1963. Jason and the Argonauts is a kick ass. Oh my god, the skeleton scene when they're fighting the skeletons, they're so awesome. Yeah, I almost wanted to use those guys, but they're just skeletons, you know. But they were so creepy, and that stop motion stuff was awesome. So that was another Ray Harry Hawson classic.

Nice that yeah, a close second to the original Clash of the Titans for me. Yeah, yeah, love that mythological shit.

Yeah, and that was you know, years before that, too. You know, 1963, pretty impressive.

Yeah, yeah, claymation and force perspective, they just did amazing, uh amazing stuff back then.

Incredible, awesome. All right, Kevin. Let's go to you.

All right, I'm going off the beaten path again here. Um this is late for us. This is 98, so it's it qualifies, but a little. This the this this was again at this time. I was living on my buddy's property out in the middle of nowhere. It was like 10 miles to the next house. Um, and I sat down and I started playing Resident Evil 2.

Guy's a maniac. Why'd he buy me?

And after you collected all of the stuff that you needed to, you open because you're in that grand hall, and you finally got that door open on the left, and you're like really excited about yourself because you got the key or the map or whatever. I can't I can't remember what you move the clock, you move the clock, exactly. You walk in that room, and then all of a sudden there's a drip coming down in front of you, and you're like, huh. And then the liquors show up. Yeah. And there were just no eyes, no skin, just tongue, muscles, and long tongues with barbs on the end of it that could decapitate you. I don't know if I ever in my adult life has been as absolutely jumped from fear as I did. I just that thing dropped down on me and I was like, fuck. I just flew off the couch. That's cool. There might have been some weed involved or maybe some Valium or something too that really kind of you know intensified but that was the golden era of video games too, when they were like the graphics and the stories behind them.

You know, yeah, yeah, console games. Oh my god, Kevin. That you worked at Giuseppe's at this time, and that was before, that was just before I did. Oh my god. Well, I couldn't like I literally would take shifts off because I didn't want to stop playing, and then I couldn't wait to get out of work and get home. And I get home at like midnight and lie on my bed with my head where my feet should be and play that game and shit my pants all night because it would scare the ever living hell out of me. Exactly. That's cool.

Best franchises of games ever. So horrific. Yeah. I mean, it was just like we talked about Jaws and the shining and the carpet sounds or whatever. That lulled you into, you know, because you had to figure stuff out. It's not like video games today where you just blow everything up. Right. You know, you had to figure out what so you're thinking, your brain, and that's what they did is they they distracted your brain by trying to figure something out, and then some fucking horrible creature would come out of nowhere and just scare you.

When the dog before, like now they're all like, you know, and it's probably cool in a way, but now everybody's online, so you're you're got headphones on, you're talking to other people and stuff, but you were just by yourself, guys. And loving it. Yeah, yeah.

Yeah, and it was different too because the the the killability, the weakness. I mean, the monsters today, it doesn't even get tough until you get to the boss. Everybody else is just turn and turn and shoot, turn and shoot, yeah, turn and shoot.

Yeah.

Back then, even the little guys, you know, even the the minions, the you know, they were they were tough. Yeah, it wasn't just yeah, fire at them and be done. I think that was the one where you had to go through, I think it was a bus or a subway, yeah, and the first zombie you shoot and he splits in half, and you're like, oh, I killed him, and then you take two more steps, and the torso starts coming out of you like a game that scares the crap out of you.

That is real. Oh my god.

Survival horror. It's incredible. Yeah, yeah. All I can think of, Kevin, is what's this? Blood. I hope it's not Chris's blood.

The acting got better.

Oh, it did. Raccoon City.

Incredible. Raccoon City, baby, and the tyrant was pretty tough at the end. You got the rocket launcher. Awesome.

All right, Mark, that's to you. All right. Well, this is another repeat. It's the werewolf. Who every month when the full moon comes up, he turns into a wolf. I mean, depending on you had like true blood, he turned into an actual wolf. Most of the movies he turned into a half man, half wolf. In some of the movies, you know, they would lock themselves up, you know, to to make sure that they don't get out. And you know, a lot of times they did. But it it reminded me of something that I wish that uh women would have done all these years. Okay. They have PMS, you lock yourself in, you won't be a total psycho, and you lock yourself in, and that's it. You come out when it's over.

Listen, honey. Uh let me ask you a question. And when I do, please don't hit me, all right? What? At what point are we in your menstrual cycle? Oh, you motherfucker, don't you, Dyer? Well, let me guess. I'm gonna say right towards the end. You need to be real careful. Am I wrong? I'm just don't ask serious. Tell me fucking truth. Am I wrong? It's coming, honey, nennant. That's what I figured. I need a Middle and a fucking margarita. Well, here's the good news. We got all of that. Come here, honey.

So I think the werewolf was based on the female species.

I'm glad you said it, Mark, so I didn't have to. Yeah. I was thinking it. It just seems to be a correlation there, but you know, I think it's isn't it the Mormons that have multiple wives? I think they did that. Oh, of course. I think they locked them all, all the women because they which really sorry, no offense, ladies, but it really freaks me out that when you hang out together, you get on the same cycle.

I was just gonna say it's unbelievable. Unbelievable.

So the all the wives, you got seven wives that get on the same cycle. Of course, you're gonna lock them all up together. Otherwise, you're gonna be the hulk walking down the highway thumbing because you killed everybody and you gotta move on to the next place.

Oh shit. So, yeah, I mean, I've always been intrigued by the werewolf and like the lichen, as they call him, but uh it just reminded me of what should have been done, and maybe that's where the werewolf actually the whole uh myth came about. Is that's what happens every single month.

Right?

There goes 50% of our audience.

I love you ladies. I'm just telling you that you guys, girls can get really angry. So, anyway, whatever.

And Mark's one of the two married hosts on the show.

That's correct. Believe it or not, folks. That's exactly right.

Been together for 30 years. God bless, where are we here? Number two, all right. Well, this is the first incredibly obvious one, and brother Mark has already brought it up, although it was not his pick, and that would be Gojira, and that is Godzilla. And I'm gonna go on a little bit of a rant here because uh I gotta go through a little bit of a television experience here because I know most people know that back in the day we had channel two through 13, and you were lucky if you get a snowy UHF channel in the mix there. But where I'm from in New Hampshire, channel two was C SPAN, which was just talking heads all day. Channel three was WPIX 11 Alive, and then channel four and six were NBC, channel five, eight, and nine were ABC, and channel seven and thirteen were CBS. However, in that mix we had channel 12, WSBK TV 38 out of Boston. Yes, and then most importantly to me, channel 10 was WLVI channel 56. Out of Boston, an incredible channel which featured creature double feature on Saturdays.

Hello, and welcome to the Creature Double Feature. This afternoon, find out who will be the victor when vicious monsters engage in a fierce and bloody battle in Godzilla's revenge.

And my God, I lived by that show. I had to make sure I was inside from playing to get there, and I would pray that it was gonna be a Godzilla episode. Not that the others, yes, not that the others weren't great, but man, sometimes they'd have two Godzilla episodes in a row. I was always intrigued by dinosaurs, and Godzilla was just a hero, and most of the time he was the good guy. You know, there were a few where he was the bad guy. I'll never forget Godzuki, his son, but you don't need to be bigger than life to be a good dad. You just need to spend time with your kids.

I mean, I knew I loved them.

Exactly. Exactly. But just man, what more can I say about Godzilla? But just those stations meant a lot to me back in the day. Yeah. Because if you think about, I mean, if you add them up together, what is that? Seven? We had seven channels, really. Five, eight, nine had the same fucking thing on it.

If you remember, channel seven had a if you turn the the uh tuner or whatever. I mean, we're talking back in the old days, no flash screens. If you turn channel seven halfway, you got a 14th channel. Really? I guess I don't recall this. Yeah, what would that have been? Oh, it was seven and a half. No, it was a cool channel. I just don't remember what it was. I don't know if it was USA. I don't think it wasn't a cable channel.

I wonder if it was specific to RTV, but anyway, that's awesome.

Well, wasn't there, and I I think wasn't there um 11 was the PBS channel. Oh, I missed PBS. No, 11.

Sesame Street, baby. Yeah, yeah. Zoom. That's right. Zoom the electric company. The electric company was Spider-Man. When Spider-Man would come on that, which was about for four seconds every like tenth episode. But it was the best part.

Damn right from a very young Morgan Freeman.

Crazy, isn't it? I think I do remember that.

Well, he did the shit shit. That was Morgan Freeman, yeah. Yeah, and he was what was he easy reader? He was the easy reader, easy reader, not easy rider. Okay. Great stuff.

Incredible, man.

That's what we gotta do. We gotta do an educational kids' show episode, or an educational adult show episode. Okay, uh too late for me.

I can't be educated. Awesome. All right, Dongo, we're number two to you.

All right. I gotta go back to space. Another alien. It's gotta be an alien. It's alien. It's xenomorph, it's alien from the movie Alien.

You're going out there to destroy them, right? Not to study, not to bring back, but to wipe them out. That's the plan. You have my word on it. Alright, I'm in.

Uh, the Sigourney Weaver movie Alien, that is a badass monster. I mean, just it's got acid blood, it's got a you know, protractable jaw that can like you know launch out and grab you and you know, bite you. Mess you up. Just evil. It is an evil-looking ant-looking walks on two feet but can crawl on four, devil looking, just badass black looking creature, yeah. Of alien. Very cool. Yeah, it's hard to kill. Because if you kill it, you better not kill it. If you're in a spaceship, you better not kill it next to a hull that's gonna acid burn a hole into your hole.

Yeah, right, exactly. Yeah, that's a tough one, yeah. Yeah, yeah, yeah. Steel room. Yeah, awesome. Great pick.

All right, Kev. That's awesome. All right, so my number two, we're gonna talk about Legba, Lucifer, the serpent, the tempter, the accuser, Biaalzeba, Biel. I'm talking about the devil, Satan, Beaslebutt, he's a real monster. Yeah, yeah, he's the real monster. He's the fallen angel, the rebel against God. He is the guy on our shoulder that tells us to do things that we know we shouldn't do.

But do anyway. But do we well? Do or don't.

And and that, and that is my point is that it's never the devil made me do it, is not is not an excuse. No, it is. The devil suggested it. You have free will, you made the choice. So he's the tempter, he is the accuser. What an iconic in in our history, in our literature, um, from like the screw tape letters to whatever, any bit of of media that you've ever seen. He's there. I'm right. He's there, and his greatest his greatest accomplishment is making us believe that he's only a character, he doesn't exist.

I agree with you 100%. Unfortunately, I agree 100% Eevee. Awesome. I didn't know if you were leading into Hellboy or something.

Well, I mean, there's many, many renditions of it. Yeah, oh, hell yeah. Depictions and possessions, yeah, fucking possessions. Which you're going back to your shining, that that definitely overtones of you know Satan there, you know. Yeah.

And then he has his minions, the demons.

The demons, yep. Yep. Even in even in popular songs. I mean, Devil went down to Georgia and the band of demons joined in, and it sounded something like this.

Devil opened up his case and he said, I'll start this show, and fire flew from his fingertips as he rolled up his bow. And he pulled the bow across the strings and it made an evil hit. Then a band of demons joined in, and it sounded something like this.

Which we all know sounded better than whatever Johnny was playing. Damn right. The devil's band was way cooler.

Sympathy for the devil. Even though Charlie was playing both parts.

Yeah, so this is this is a good, like, I don't know, probably 2008, 9, maybe 16-ish. Where shows started to portray the evil protagonist as, you know, maybe you gotta look into him a little more. You know, oh, yeah, there was a show. He might not be as evil as you know, he's evil, he's doing bad things, but there might be a reason why he's doing evil and bad things, you know, like Jamie Lannister in in Game of Thrones. Like he's a bad dude in the first season, but then you start to kind of like he's not that bad. He's kind of a good guy. So, like sometimes the devil, and I'm not sticking up for the devil, people out there. I'm not, but sometimes you know, you know, he's a fallen angel because he went went against the grain a little bit, but you know, yeah, or he was put into a position, right? Right, you know, there's always gonna be good and evil, and it's always perception, right? Who's who's the person or who's the thing, who's who's setting the bar of what's good and evil.

Correct. I'll give you a perfect example, right? Johnny Lawrence is the good guy in the karate kid, right?

Right, right, right, right, right, right, right.

But but that was my point is that that every character that is portrayed as evil got there for a reason. There's a backstory to all of it. Nobody is pure evil, including the devil. I mean, the devil is doing God's bidding to give us the alternative so that we can choose to be good. Right. And without what was the I mean, uh Black Sabbath, what was the uh on the worst album cover in the world, born again? The devil and the priest can't exist if one goes away. It's just like the battle of the sun and the moon.

You gotta have the yin yin yin, yeah. Yeah, the yin yang.

Exactly, exactly, and it probably probably doesn't feel wicked good for him to be evil, you know? Probably ready for it to be over so he can go back to to being God's right-hand man, right hand man, right, exactly.

I mean, isn't it true that he said that I'd better to be the ruler in hell than be a servant in heaven?

I mean, that's well, yeah, that's where he went astray for sure. Yeah, betrayal steep. Very well, you know. I mean, it's it's it's it it it it casts a shadow over all of this. Yep, absolutely, Kev.

Thank you, thank you very much. Thank you very much, thank you, thank you. All right, Mark, wrap up number two.

Okay, well, this guy happens to be a hero of mine, or at least until he went full fly. We're talking about the fly. And um, speaking specifically of the 1986 movie where uh he's out at a bar. Jeff Goldblum, awesome actor, and he challenges this other guy. Let's have an arm wrestling match. If I win, she comes home with me.

Hey, pal, you're disturbing us. I got a hundred bucks says I can beat either one of them.

Take a hike, ass home.

Here's my hundred. And I get to take the lady home for the night at home.

Don't look like a hooker to you.

Hey, Tommy, it's an easy hunger. Mm-hmm, Pamela, let's get it over with.

And of course, he rips the freaking guy's wrist and it's like cut in half almost. Maybe not a fall break. And then she goes home with him happily, and uh, well, they start uh having sex. And of course he lasts forever. He's just going and going and going. And then she's looking at his back, it's like, well, this is kind of a thick, a very thick hair. And uh, well, he's not he's transitioning, but if I could just get to that point where I transitioned possibly without the hair, and oh my god, they'll be lining up in my bedroom door. But I'm just saying he was my hero at that point. So yeah, I mean, this is before he got really disgusting, and uh Dini started regurgitating, and there was a version of the fly that dad used to talk about where he would look and there was this tiny little fly going, help me. Yeah, the old, old school one.

Yeah, so yeah, I mean, aren't even sure how it happened, but I it was really cool because he had the two pods and it was a DNA sharing thing, so he'd get into one, and then he was all he was trying to do was transfer his own DNA from one spot to another, kind of to pull a Captain Kirk type of thing, so he could transport from one place to another, which is not once again quantum.

All that kind of stuff. They they've tried to like you know, salamanders that can lob off an arm and then grow it back. Yeah, they're they're studying like how to you know work that into how can we do that?

Right. What could possibly go wrong? Regrow an organ but anyway, Mark. So when he was doing said experiment, there have a fucking fly got into the other pod. So his DNA mixed with the fly, just to explain how it happened.

I okay, I do remember that, but I mean I'm just saying that uh And he was pretty good in bed. Oh no, but I'm just saying that that was a freaky movie.

Yeah, something about flies that makes gives them stamina. I don't know.

I don't know. You I mean because they get and they can hover over her, right?

I don't know, but I'm just saying that that that is kind of a a creepy, creepy scenario. It's a great movie, man.

Yeah, the old one you that your old man was talking about was uh fifty eight with Vincent Price. Yeah. Still see that the human head on the little fly.

I didn't hear it. I didn't hear it. Awesome. All right. So that's number one to me. And I'm going to go with an audible here because, well, I had Medusa Donald. And I had the fly, Mark. So I'm going to go with um, and I hope I'm saying his name right, but I believe it's Typhon. And he was the father of all monsters. I believe he's Greek, but he might be Roman.

But he would be your fucking sneaky bats. I'm gonna take you to work. I'm gonna nail it to the world. I'm gonna cut your buttons in a minute. I'm gonna cut off your I'm gonna shove them off your myself. My own club.

He would breathe storms like out of his breath. It kind of makes me think of Cronus, like you know, from Clash of the Titans, the newer version, but he was like basically the gods of the gods, not the god, but I think he'd be Zeus's god, if I may. But he had like a hundred serpents or a thousand growing out of each shoulder, and he breathed storms, and I always found that super cool. I I wish I could remember where I read about this, but I remember seeing a documentary where it came up and he was just battle axe. I mean, fucking serpents coming out of the shoulders, and and this dude was not, you know, a typical giant, he was like a hundred feet tall. You know what I mean? Oh, well, that's pretty cool. But anyway, just an incredible monster. Made me think of Cronus from uh Clash of the Titans, the newer version, which is outside of our nostalgia zone, but just fucking cool, and I'll leave it at that. Dunn.

He he attacked Olympus in an attempt to overthrow the Olympian gods and had an epic battle with Zeus. Yes, and Zeus actually won.

Defeated him, which now makes Zeus God of the gods.

Yes, right?

Yeah, yes, all right, good.

So he's Greek, which could be, you know, why they call typhoons, yes.

Good call, Donko. Does he breathe hurricanes on the east coast?

Precisely could be Mike talking about himself.

Well, if he's below the equator, it's a typhoon. If he's above the equator, it's a hurricane. Correct. I thought it was a peace. It's all location is everything.

Location is all. Location, location, location. Right, right. All right, Dongo. Yeah, Mike Typhon. Come out.

Body blow, body blow, body blow, body blow, body blow, body blow.

So another movie out there that everybody must watch if you're feeling nostalgic, is in the Ray Harry Hawson uh genre of stop motion photography, is in uh the movie Sinbad Eye of the Tiger, 1977. And the creature, the monster is the Cyclops. Oh, yeah, one eye guy. One-eyed beast. And then that movie, he is quite large. He's you know, he's giant size.

I command you to build me a barrier between those men and the cyclops.

I shall try, Amaster. I shall try.

So that that's a great movie. So Eye of the Tiger, Jason and the Argonauts, and Clash of the Titans are movies you gotta see if you want to see some cool, you know, retro stop-action photography. But also, there is a scantily clad Jane Seymour in this movie who is smoking in this movie. Oh, she is hot. She's hot, or yeah, yeah. And there's some other ladies in that movie that are quite lovely. Nice. Uh the Greek, the Greeks knew how to dress. The toga is a very flattering uh form of dress for both male and female, and quite reliable. It looks well, it can be worn by both, and and it's very flattering. It's a unique lovely garment. We should bring it back in a smile. Oh, yeah.

One size fits all.

Yeah, pretty much. I mean, yeah. I've only been to one toga party, it worked out pretty well.

But anyway, two things I want to say about that, Dongo. To add to the three movies you mentioned, the Beastmaster, although not Greek mythology, should be thrown into that mix because it's very much along those lines. Secondly, as far as a toga goes, when we were in Mexico by brother David and our and I video, it was Halloween and we had no costumes. And I grabbed a sheet and threw a toga on, right? And I there I dumped out the soap basket from the bathroom and put it on my head. Perfect.

There's so many positives to it. It's one, it's white, so you can just bleach it, right? It's easy to clean. Yeah, it's cheap. So why not? You know, you can literally throw it together in two seconds. Um, and it looks great. It looks like a win-win.

If you're in a warmer climate, yeah, especially if back then you could if you could afford the the golden brooch to hold said toga shit.

You could put all kinds of flair to it and accessories.

You certainly, you know, 13 pieces of flair is good enough for you. I'm counting, and I only see 15 pieces. Let me ask you a question, Joanna. What do you think of a person who only does the bare minimum?

What do I think? Um, you know what, Stan? If you want me to wear 37 pieces of flair like your uh pretty boy over there, Brian, why don't you just make the minimum 37 pieces of flair?

Yes. Awesome, Dongo. All right, Kevin. Number one to you.

All right, before I go into my number one, I just want to you know point out, Don, you've been talking about these awesome stop motion pictures. What a amazing and painstaking art to do that literally one shot at a time and keep everything that you want to stay the same the same, and do those little motions and make it work out is just that that is that's some crazy ass shit right there to make a movie with stop motion. And the only other thing next to that is like cartoons where they old school cartoons where they were just gonna see every you know, amazing amount of work that had to go into that to yeah, the cartoons somebody would draw the somebody would draw the outline and then it would go to somebody else that was the the red guy, and then it would go to the black guy, and then it would go to the green guy, and then you know, because they would just all day long paint in the same the same cells, and any one of us could just be like, hey, pick up a CBT, make me a cartoon, make me a movie, make me a this, right?

And it's right.

If you look at the old like Fritz Freeling um you know, Looney tunes and whatever else, the the backgrounds were like amazing, and then you could see by the time they get into the 60s and the 70s. I mean, look at Scooby-Doo, nothing against Scooby-Doo, I love it, but it was like they didn't put a one-hundredth of the effort into making those those cartoon cells as they did on you know on the old Warner Brothers ones, Edge Money stuff. It was just it's it's amazing. You see the difference. And I was talking to somebody about it the other day. When everybody was working with hand tools, you look at those buildings from the Victorian era, beautiful, everything was scroll work and carved and all that. Yeah, no question, and then by the time power tools came in, everything was a gray box. Yeah, it's like a second age. Yeah, you think it would be the other way around?

Like it would allow you to do more elaborate designs, but it does it does the exact opposite, right? Right. What did they say?

Oh, go ahead, Kev. Sorry. Oh no, no, go ahead. I was just gonna say, what did they say about the World Trade Centers? It was like two Empire State Buildings and the boxes they came in.

Right.

Yeah, exactly.

Right, exactly. Um, all right, so at this point, we're gonna go on to my number one pick now that I've diverted the whole hijacked the show for a sideline. Um, so my my number one pick is going to be humans. Oh, and we touched on this, yeah. And we indeed, yes, I everybody was kind of creeping towards it, but that's it. We are the monsters, and you think about it from from bullying to you know where our world is now, which I believe is called panology, where the most evil people devoid of any kind of conscience, conscience, human goodness they have risen to the top because you give up on decency to get to the top, and that's what we get now. We get these people that are running the show, but even before that, you go back, and I'm gonna come around because we're happy. Even before that, you've got Stalin, you've got Lenin, you've got Hitler, you've got Mao Zhe Zhong, Zedong, you got Pol Pot, who was killing people that wore glasses because you might be a revolutionary if you thought, and if you had glasses, it meant you knew how to read a book. So we'll we'll get we'll get rid of you. Um Pilot. This pilot, exactly. The seven deadly sins, all of those are presented to us by the devil, but we make the choice.

Correct.

Pride, greed, wrath, envy, lust, gluttony, sloth. All of those are choices that we make. Not to mention the aspect of it that all of the monsters that we've talked about came from the minds of humans. Yeoman. Right? As far as the the freedom of choice makes me think of it. It just gives to lighten up a little bit. It took me back to Animal House when he's got the cashier girl on the bed and she passes out and she's laying there, and the devil appears on his shoulder, and he's like, fuck her.

Squeeze her buttons. You know she wants it.

Lawrence, I'm surprised at you.

I don't listen to that. Look at those. You never get a better chance.

If you lay one finger on that poor sweet, heartless girl, you'll despise yourself forever. I'm proud of you, Lawrence.

You homo.

I love that. Start kits. And then the and then the angel comes, you woo, you'll never be able to live with yourself, whatever. And he decides not to do it, and the devil goes, homo, and he disappears. But yeah, but he makes he makes the choice not to do that. And I and I would hope that would be the choice that all of us would make. Of course. Um, even at that age, but that was Tom Holtz who ended up playing um Mozart in Amadeus as well. But but that's what we deal with every day, and that's why when you see somebody do something good in the world, I just I just I love that because everybody else is such not everybody else, but there's so much self-centered, there's so much about people just I want mine and screw you. That when you see somebody do something good, it just it it gives me it gives me hope. Absolutely and I just love to see somebody and I love to myself go in the opposite direction and just look that devil in the face and say, not today. I'm gonna do the right thing, I'm gonna do the good thing because you know what? At the end of the day, you gotta you gotta be you. Yeah, you gotta be you, and there's far too much of it out in the world, but I'm gonna bring it back to because we are here for happiness. Pastimes at 80s high is the escape from that. Pastimes at 80s high is the people that make that choice not to do evil, that to not get tied up in what's going on out there, and to go back to a time when if somebody fell down in front of you, you reach down and you help them up. Yes. Whereas today, people just walk by and go, sucks to be him.

Yes, you hold it down. You hold a door for a man and a woman. Sorry, Donnie. No, but you hold a door for a man or a woman. And one thing, one thing Mark said it when you started this, Kevin, that's a friggin' incredible bit because it it obviously slipped our minds. But that is perfect. And Mark, when you jumped in, said conscience, and that to me is such a huge thing missing in this world. People don't have a fucking conscience out there, and I mean, I just don't understand how people can pull off the sins and the hell that they do because how can you fuck someone over like that in any way? And it makes me sick. Well picked, Kevin.

Yeah, I I I totally agree, AJ. I think it's people for some, and again, we talked about the devil and how making people believe he didn't exist is his biggest trick. And that's what people they don't they don't look at it that way when when they self-serve, it's because for some reason they feel like they've you know, oh, it's my life, my life has been so rough, it's okay that I do this horrible thing to somebody else.

Yeah, exactly.

And it's not, no, it it's not at all. And if people just need to start thinking of in those terms of stop thinking about yourself, think about the collective, think about the whole, do something decent every day. Yeah, just try to do something decent.

Well, it's so easy, like the the devil, like to be the devil, the devil is easy, like to do what everybody else is doing is easy. Oh, it's so to do right, you know, to to take part in all the evil is quite easy to do the right thing is hard, absolutely, you know, to do to be just to live a good life, to it it you have to work at it, you really have to work, you know. Unfortunately, that's the way it is, you know.

It's so and to that point, I think that's part of it too, is that okay, well, everybody else is doing it, yeah. So it's okay if I do it. It's like the level we've watched over our lifetimes, we've watched the level of acceptance of just being callous or being hateful or self-serving. We've watched that go from there was a level of it when we were kids to now it's like it's it's accepted to be that way, and that's that's the devil in full yeah, full action, full board, yeah.

Fucking full board. Well put, Kevin. All right, thank you so follow that one up and wrap up number one.

Yeah, no, but but a couple things I want to say.

Um, first of all, very nicely done, Kevin. Secondly, I it's almost like we're being um we have sociopaths out there who have no consciences, are giving birth to all the kids, and it's it's getting really bad, you know, and and the media drives a lot of this. You cannot tell me the media doesn't drive a lot of this because they're really lifting up a lot of bad things, both sides of it.

Absolutely.

Yeah, so anyway, well, I'm very surprised nobody had my number one, but I think anyone that actually knows me would know that I would obviously pick the vampire. I knew it. And uh I you know I've always been fascinated with vampires, and you know, there's there's different versions. I mean, you actually have an emotional vampire.

I've dated one or two of them, but uh no, they they they they're yeah, they you could see the connotation with the werewolf and the vampire to the human existence of yeah, people that suck the life out of you. Yeah, no, absolutely literally or physically, you know, or metaphysically. Absolutely.

So basically, okay, vampires, all right. There are different, I mean, in the uh mythology, if you want to call it mythology, I mean I went on a vampire tour down in New Orleans, but uh what I am saying is there are so many different versions, and I have a bone to pick with some of them. They don't walk during the day. Do vampires walk during the day? No, they do not. Do vampires sparkle? No, they do not. Do vampires sleep in a coffin all day? Yes, of course they do. Do vampires see the reflection in the mirror? Of course they don't. Okay? They sleep in a coffin all day, they come out during the night, and what happens is, I mean, if you have a reluctant vampire like my favorite vampire, and I have to talk about him, Barnabas Collins.

Oh, madam. If you would, you may tell her that it's Barnabas Collins.

He was very reluctant. Thank God that Julia Hoffman cured him, or they the the whole combination. Dr. Lang, whatever. But to be a vampire, this is my version of a vampire. They've been, I mean, you could say this is the same thing with the werewolf. There's been a curse put on them. They need blood to survive, they do not eat, they don't have sex all night like they do on friggin' uh true blood. They don't have honey holes, they live in a coffin during the day, they go out and they feed off blood.

Yes.

And that's what a vampire is. And they can, yes, turn into a bat. Of course, they get to where they need to go into some woman's bedroom where they really want some beautiful A B positive or whatever kind of blood they like. So that is what I picked.

I think it's pretty rare. Yeah.

Yes, that's what I have.

Is there is there a pref a preference? I didn't know that.

I I think they like O negative. I'm not sure, but I am A B positive. A B negative is the uh rarest.

I wonder if on True Blood they had different types. You know, it's like five percent, five percent, four point five craft brewery, they have clo Kraft blood.

I agree. IPB.

I like the Norwegian blood, to be honest with you.

It's a mixture of A B positive and O negative. You brew it up in Vermont, and you can only get it when the sun's out.

I you gotta try the India pale blood that will fuck you up after losing my temper and turning into the incredible hulk, and then every every doggone month I turn into a werewolf, you know.

Yeah, see a little bit of all these creatures in all of us. Yeah, I think that's the theme of the show.

That is the theme of the show.

I always felt like the the the Dracula vampire kind of the lesson there was in in most of the movies and the literature that we've read, they're they're in pain because they're they've been alive for 600 years. Yeah, who would want to be alive for that long? You can't they're glum. I'm fifty I'm 56 years in, and I really, you know. I've about had the ratus. Yeah. Can we quite speed this up a little bit?

You can't love. Yeah, he's gonna lose them.

Oh, how miserable, right? To lose.

I also heard Mark, can you can you confirm? I I seem to remember reading somewhere that they were really good at counting.

Ah, that's one. One bat, two, two bats, three, three fabulous flyers.

Uh, uh, uh, yes, I I yes, let's count.

One two I love to count. I love peanut butter sandwiches. Yeah, let me count them. Awesome, boys. That was a lot of fun and went deep, way deeper than I was expecting. Oh, I see.

Yeah, thanks, Kevin. You're right down right down the world so fun, yeah, so fun.

Awesome. Uh, everyone out there, man. Thank you so, so much for listening. We're appreciating all the downloads, loving the feedback we're seeing on the socials. Please check out that Pastimer's 80s high Facebook page because it's really starting to take off with a lot of posts and uh, you know, photos from the the good old days. So it's fun reading the comments on there. But yeah, this was a lot of fun, Kevin. Thank you so much. Thank you, AJ. Thank you, listeners. Yes, and brother Mark. And how and Donald, you ice hole. Hey. Thank you, Ice. Indeed. And thank you all again, and we uh, you know, you can see that.