Sweet Dreams Are Made of Cheese: Hair Bands, David Hasselhoff & Boat Shoes Without Socks

Hey y'all, welcome to another episode of Past Times at 80s High, the cast that takes you back. We got a cheesy episode for you today. It's gonna be a lot of fun, I think. As always, I have the boys, Brother Mark. Hey, how's it going? Good, Kevin. Hey, hello, and don't go you ISO. Hey, what's happening? Hello. Awesome. So I think this is gonna be a great one. And as always, we get going right out of the gate. But first, Kevin does our shout-outs.

Alright, so we're gonna mix it up a little bit today and do it different. Um, just wanted to get this out there that you know, we started this for fun, and boy, do we have a good time doing it. We hope you guys too. Uh, we started doing the shout-outs because once we started publishing this, we were just blown away by the far-reaching corners of the earth that we were reaching. It was, you know, places we didn't know existed were listening to us doing this, and it was it was wild. Um, but and we're eternally grateful for that and and love that everybody out there is listening. But we're gonna mix it up a little bit because we've had some people that have really been key to helping us move this thing along. At the urging of some folks, we added a buy me a coffee button. So anybody out there that wants to help out with the cost that we incur doing this, um, you're more than welcome to. We want to give a special thank you to Ricky, who has given us a very generous offering on buymeacoffee.com. And you can find that on our website, pastimes at 80shigh.com. Also, one of the things that really moves us forward is the reviews and the five-star ratings on Apple Podcasts. They are so helpful at moving us forward. And one of the fun ones that I saw on there was uh Daniel212 said, It's been so much fun listening from week to week and being transported back to those good old days. And and that's what we're looking for. And thank you for that, Daniel. We just love to hear that. It makes it so enjoyable for us to hear that people are enjoying what we're doing, and it helps us, you know, get up in the rankings and and move forward. Some of you might have discovered that we've had some changes or have discovered that we've made some changes on that website. Um, we are now blogging, even though we're not totally sure what that is, um, but we're we're muscling through it and having some fun with that. And some people have really seemed to enjoy that. We have started making Spotify playlists and putting them on the website. So if you want to check those out and and you know hear what we're talking about, uh that's that's there and available for you too at that website, pastimes and 80shigh.com. And I believe Dongo has somebody to say hi to as well.

Yeah, there's uh Craig, who's an EMS coordinator for two very large uh EMS systems in New Hampshire, and he's a very busy guy, and he reached out to me, says he loves listening to the podcasts, and uh I appreciate that because I know he's a busy dude, and I just want to say thank you, Craig, for your listening.

Awesome, awesome, awesome. Thank all of you. You did miss the Aborigine tribe shout out there, though, Kev in Australia. Damn it. Awesome. Thank you all so much out there. And one thing um uh I'll say here is on Spotify, if you listen on Spotify, a nice feature on there is you can actually comment right on the episode itself, even while you're listening. So we appreciate that as well, everyone who's doing that. So thank you. Um real quick, Kevin already said the website past times at 80shigh.com, and that's 80s for 80s. And our email address is pta80h at gmail.com. PTA.

We don't believe in apostrophes.

PTA 80H at gmail.com. We'll always give you guys shout-outs when you send them to us. So appreciate it, guys and gals. All right, so we'll get rolling right out of the gate. But let me just explain this a little deeper. This is Dongo has always said how much he loves the cheese. So we might find that the four of us have a different definition of how we take that. What is what is cheesy, what isn't. But where I locked up a bit was favorite cheese. So it's gonna throw me for a loop a bit, but it's gonna be fun as hell. Uh, and it's kind of a hodgepodge cheese. And the first category we are gonna do is your favorite cheesy male or female singer, Donald.

All right, I love the cheese. Dungo loves the cheese. Uh, and this guy, um, male singer, would be on my cheese rushmore. Um, I won't say the other ones in case they're coming up, but I can at a later time tell you who's on my cheese rushmore for singers. But this guy is definitely on there. He's born in June 17th, 1943. He's got 51 top 40 singles, 13 number ones, and 28 in the top 10. And it's Barry Manilo.

Yes, sir.

With you know, classics of like I write the songs, Cobo Cabana, looks like we made it. But I love and I want to mention weekend in New England because that's the one I wanted to kind of highlight.

When will arise me? When can I touch you? When will the strong and when will I hold you again?

Awesome. Uh Daybreak, Mandy, oh my gosh, so I mean the man can the man can croon.

Oh, damn, right. Yeah, yeah. So Barry Manilo.

All right, awesome pick dongo.

I forgot about that. Yeah.

No genre, yeah. No genre required. Right. Awesome, Donnie. All right, Kevin. That's to you.

All right, and this is gonna highlight the differences because as cheesy as Barry Manilo is, I still love those songs. Oh, they're gonna song. Maybe not cranking it with the subwoofers blasting, rolling down the street so the people on the sidewalk can hear me singing along to Mandy. Um, but in the shower, you know, he's there. It's happening. Which is really weird if he's in the shower. But anyway, that is weird. However, my cheesy pick is a total ass clown, and I hate him. He is the absolute, he is a soulless, blue-eyed soul singer, a white man singing soul with no soul at all. I'm talking, of course, about Michael Bolton, and I'm not changing my name to Mike because I was Michael.

At least your name is Michael Bolton.

You know, there's nothing wrong with that name.

There was nothing wrong with it until I was about 12 years old, and that no talent ass clown became famous and started winning Grammys.

Why don't you just uh go by Mike instead of Michael? No way. What should I change? He's the one who sucks.

I have so funny for the space fans. Uh he's just and I went back to think if I was judging him too hard because he has he's got like a gaggle of Grammys, and I was wondering if I judged him too hard, and I went back and listened to his couple songs and like nope, he sucks.

When a man loves a woman's very last time trying to hold on to what he needs he gave up his comfort, sleep out of the way, but that's my opinion.

But yeah, people love to suck sometimes, yeah.

Yeah, well, like like again, that's the crazy difference so bad it's good, cheesy and shitty. Because I would put him all the way over to shitty, and Manilo's on this side and the good side of cheesy, but rightable.

So that's Kevin's favorite shitty, cheesy singer.

Shitty, cheesy, yeah. Yeah, shit tends to ruin.

Kevin had a short window. You know, Manilo's been doing it for years now, you know, like decades. Uh he he had a short window, you know.

He was he was um uh Bette Midler's piano player before he took off with his own career.

Well, you know who uh wouldn't wouldn't agree with you as far as not being a great singer or whatever would be the bobs.

Are you any relation to the pop singer? No, it's it's just a coincidence. I'll be honest with you, I love his music. I do. I'm a Michael Bolton fan. For my money, I don't know if it gets any better than what he sings when a man loves a woman. But you must really love his music, huh?

Yeah, he's he's he's pretty he's pretty good, I guess.

You're goddamn right he is. So tell me, what's your favorite song of his?

I don't I don't know. I guess I sort of like them all.

So Ryan of the exact same way, but it must be twice as hard for you being to have the same name as him. I celebrate the guy's entire catalog. Anyway, let's get down to business, Michael. You know, you you can just call me Mike.

The Bobs, absolutely because the Bobs did love.

Too funny. Great pick, Kevin McGinley. All right, brother Mark, that's to you.

Well, I mean, uh Kevin, I'm glad you kind of took that angle because I when I first saw the category, I did I omitted the word favorite, maybe because I'm not a big fan of the cheese. So when I saw that I did tweak it a little bit, you know? But I mean, I don't hate this guy I'm about to talk about, but has there ever been a cheesier hair metal band than Poison? I mean, you I'm sure that there are, okay, but I'm going with Brett Michaels. That whole thing. I mean, I I've also mentioned this that you know, girls like men that look like women. Yeah, and then this band kind of proved that. I mean, they slash tried out for this band. Slash. And they couldn't believe how he looked. They're like, what the hell's the matter with you? I mean, he looked like a normal human being other than the mop on his head.

Racist.

But good lord. So CC Deville got it. But I mean, he's I mean, their songs, they're they're very cheesy. I mean, he's got a good voice and everything. Yeah. I know he loves himself some Brett Michaels, or at least he did on that show that was on, was that MTV or VH1 or whatever.

To me, Lacy's either gonna make Passionate Love to Me or possibly kill me in my sleep. And I feel that this person is actually pretty crazy, but there's something about that that I really liked.

My advice to Brett would be make sure that Lacey takes her medication every day.

If there's one thing that makes a rock star nervous, it's a girl's parents. Is there some kind of hot sauce on his fries, or is it just my tongue that's on fire?

I think it's all the wiser talent. Do you have hair underneath that hat?

I just remember after when the grunge came up, he tried to change his look a little bit, but yeah, so I think he's pretty cheesy.

He definitely slides into that. Yep.

Degree. Oh, yeah. Yeah. I guess it's if Slash was eliminated from contention for being in the band because he will he would not wear the makeup. And I guess if you look at like that first album cover and what their style was, it would have looked really weird if the three of them were all dolled up as women, and then it's just Slash with his top hat, like cigarette hanging out of his mouth looking like GI. Thank God. Yeah, thank God.

Yeah, no kidding. Dear Lord.

I don't sign autographs. That's just how I am.

Good old CeC. Yes, awesome. All right, so that's off to me, and I'm gonna go to my third audible here. Oh dear, man. Well, well, let's see. Is that Barry Manalo, Michael Bolton, and Brett Michael? Oh, I didn't have Michael Bolton, but I had the other two.

You did?

I did. That's how funny is that. But that kind of helps me in my area here, and nobody's gonna be surprised here because, like you said, by uh altering Z list, Mark. Pray I don't alter it any further. I did too when I thought of favorite, and I did this one off the top of my head. I try to do that on you know the first round of a show, but I'm going with Paul Stanley. Gotta tie it to Kiss. And I'm going with 80s Paul Stanley because when I realized at the top it said favorite, I had to, because he's my favorite of all time. Incredible singer, but I'm not gonna say songs because um I'm just not going to. But you can't get a lot cheesier than Paul in the 80s. Listen, why don't you come back next week?

You can see the place the way you wanted to see, we'll do it, we'll show you the different rooms, we'll make it look the way they want it to tell us. That'd be great. Yeah, we'll do that. All right, the only thing what's that? I want to plug my exercise tape. Promise. Exercise tape. The Paul Stanley exercise tape. You joke. Come on, like this. Hey, hey, hey! Right? Hey, yeah, you got it. Yes, the Paul Stanley workout tape for dirty minds and clean bodies. I will show you how to get the body you always wanted and the woman it belongs to. Yes, the Paul Stanley exercise tape. Join me, won't you?

The Paul Stanley workout tape. Available where better videos are sold.

Because a muscle is a terrible thing to waste.

Incredible voice. He was at the top of his game with his high friggin' voice at that point. But that's all I'll say about it because we have more categories coming up, and I'll leave it at that and go to you, Dongo. And we're at number two, and this is and I hate the term, but I'm gonna use it to make sense of it. Your favorite cheesy 80s hair band song.

Awesome. So when I was uh getting ready for this one, it's been a long time in the making because I keep hearing it on XM and I'm like, oh, I can't wait to use this song on the cast at some point. It's Britney Fox, Long Way to Love. And when that thing comes on, it's just you gotta watch the video out there, people, too, because it is just level 10 cheese. Like it's like you know, it's just got that eighties, like awesome guitar rhythm. It's so cool. Um, the lead sing so the band, the lead singer Dizzy Dean Davidson, uh, was only on there for a couple years, and then he formed Black Eyed Susan. Uh, they were former Cinderella guitarist Michael Kelly Smith and former Cinderella drummer Tony Dextra. And Tony Dextra died in a car accident. So the only uh long-standing act is uh Billy Childs on bass. He's been with them through and they had a short run because they came out in '88 and they pretty much died in like '92.

Like everyone.

Yeah, because of the grunge stuff. Um, but they've had some remakes and recasts, but Billy Childs on bass is the only original member. But I mean, uh, on the third album, Zach Wilde and Ricky Rocket both played on it. Nice. Um, Bite Down Hard was the name of their third album, but that song Long Way to Love is is just pure cheese at its finest. 80s hair band cheese.

The pitcher was a I mean, the the lead singer was a great pitcher with his brother Daffy. Daffy and Dizzy Dean. Gotcha. I don't even know what decade, but it was a long time ago.

Oh, brother. Awesome though, pick, Dongo. When I thought this category was 80s hairband, Brittany Fox was one of my picks for the band because I saw the picture.

Oh my god. The video is just something of pure art form.

Next level, next level cheese.

Awesome.

All right, Kev. Um, London from from that was in uh decline of the Western Civilization would also be a good What Do You Do? What do you do when you're all the ball that band would be a great um cheesiest band of the 80s as well? Um, I, on the other hand, you know, Mark, you said earlier about poison, could it be a cheesier band? And the answer to that is fuck yes. Yeah.

All right.

Okay, well, because Firehouse exists. Oh, yeah. And it's a song called Love of a Lifetime, and there is nothing redeemable about that song. There's it's it's like I mean, AI didn't exist at the time, but if it did, it could have written that song. There's nothing. There's the music, the lyrics, there's absolutely no redemption.

That thing oozes G's big time.

Oh, it's terrible. And everything they do, I was like, well, baby, don't treat me bad. Maybe that's not, but then I listen to a clip of that and I'm like, no, that's shit too. So that's that's my my pick.

Nice. There's so many. Oh my god.

Yeah.

Okay, Mark. Okay, well, this song is uh I thought of it last night. It's on my gym tape that I hear on my kids station. And I think it rocks, but you cannot tell me it's not cheese. It's Quiet Riot Bang Your Head. Love it. No, it it's a great song, though. It's very rocking, but I mean, I want to be overrated. I mean, listen to the lyrics. I mean, his freaking, I don't know how to explain this song because it's just heavy, and I think it's probably my favorite Quiet Riot song. Come on, Feel the Noise. No, I hate that song. I'm talking about uh there's another song they do that I really like, but anyway.

They did the cover. The cover that of uh that was really good. We're all crazy now.

Mama Mama, we're all crazy.

Come on, feel the noise was a cover too.

So yeah, I mean, I thought it was cheesy, and I thought that whole band was cheesy, which is hard to believe that Randy Rhodes was in it. He he was gone by the time they made it big, right?

Oh yeah, yeah. One of the greatest intros, I think, is that of that is that song. Yeah.

But there's a perfect example of my firehouse one time. Perfect example of favorite cheese.

Yeah.

I think if you look at those lyrics, I'm guessing that was just written out by Kevin DeBrot's psychologist. Because it pretty much expresses exactly who he is. Or was, I should say.

God rest his soul. I know somebody that met him when he was I mean, this guy I is a name-dropper. I won't bring up his name, but he brought up meeting Kevin DeBrot, and he was a prick when he met him. He was his head was the size of a friggin' beach ball, but then he met him years later, and he said that, yeah, um, I met you a while back, you know, years ago, and you were a prick, and he's like, I know it went to my head, man. It went to my head.

Be nice on the way up because there's a way down. Oh yeah.

Ralph Grandin, be nice to the people on the way up because you're gonna meet the same people on the way down.

Damn right. Norton, if there's one thing you should know about me after all these years, is that I'm not that type of person. I've always followed that old adage. Be kind to the people you meet on the way up because you're gonna meet the same people on the way down.

I'm not gonna do it.

You know, Norton, I've been watching you. You watch me. So I remember you getting that. How would you like to fuck me up the ass? You wanna fuck me. You know the nine number that you know the line number that you wanna fuck me. I'm gonna bend the mo. And when I do, start fucking.

Humana humana hummana, humana, hummana.

Wait ago there, Ralphie Boy!

But anyway, we'll give it to Ralphie Boy.

I was gonna do the Eddie Murphy bit again. Nice pick, Mark. All right. Well, my number one carries into my number two. No surprise to all of you. I have actually four songs listed here, and I'm struggling which one, and I'm only going this one with this one because of the video itself. And once again, I was talking about Paul Stanley as my cheesy singer, and that's 80s Paul, and so is Ugh All Night. Gotta tie it to Kiss.

Girls, uh, what's your favorite kiss video?

All night.

And why?

Because that denies us of you.

Got 'em well trained. Put it on now.

I know you guys aren't taking any of these, so I'm going with uh all night, but who else could write a song like that or bang bang you or rock hard? And if people do not call this cheese, then I don't know what is cheese, but when you watch that video and they're pushing like the thousand beds through whatever room they're in, and there's a hot chick on everyone doing the the well, we work all day and they're crossing their legs on the bed. Like rockettes, but laying down. Yeah, kind of nice. Oh, beautiful, but just pure friggin' cheese. And I'll go to you, dongo for number three. And this is your favorite cheesy male or female actor.

All right, and this one is no surprises. I try not to, you know, I try to mix it up some, but I cannot not use the chat. Ah, the chat. William Shatner, um, uh, an actor who is surprisingly from Canada, and we won't hold that against him. He does have a green card, so he is safe from deportation. Um, but I didn't know that about him, actually. But the the man, you know, I fell in love with him watching, you know, syndication of Star Trek. Gotta tie it to track. Scotty, beat me up. And syndication of TJ Hooker, you know, his his strut on camera is just indescribable. I'm trying to uh perfect it, but I haven't got there yet. And then not knowing how AJ said, you know, he's been cutting some albums, he's actually got like 10 to 12 albums. Uh, one album, Searching for Major Tom, was in October of 2011, and the album cover of that is pure like bliss cheese. It's like Shatner in like a an astronaut suit, not like a Star Trek one, but like a real NASA one. And it's just you, it's indescribable how cheesy it is. But I'm I was researching and I was looking at some of the musicians he has on these albums, and on you know, on that one, he had like Zach Wilde, you know, uh Peter Frampton, Richie Blackmore, Carmine Apeace, Cheryl Crow, um, on another album. He had Steve Vai and Al uh Di Miola, who were you know big few. Incredible, yeah, yeah. Like really good players. Um, he's got a uh Christmas album out there that I gotta look up called Shatner Claws. It was a 2018 album. He's got a blues album, and he just said he's got a heavy metal one that I gotta look up. So I'm yeah, they were talking about that.

It's uh the owner of NHTunes in Manchester. I was waiting for my guy to come out and he brought him up. He's like, Can you believe William Shatner? He's got a head heavy metal album, and he's he's 95 years old. Right, he's 95. I mean, my god, I wish I could come back as William Shatner.

But he perfected overacting. Uh, you know, I love I love people's um like impersonations of him. Like I love uh in uh animal detective, pet detective. Yeah, you know, he's like, there's something on the wing.

Mr. Ventura!

There's someone on the way. Some thing!

Yeah, some thing. Oh, when he's in the pool, it's spectacular. Yeah.

Captain Clog, Stardate 23.9, rounded off to the nearest decimal point. We travel back in time to save an ancient species from total annihilation. So far! No signs of aquatic life, but I'm going to find it. If I have to tear this universe another black hole, I'm going to find it. I got to, Mr.

Incredible, Dongo. Great pick. And think of all those great musicians you named. Who's gonna turn down an opportunity to jam with cap rate? They're like, what do we get to lose?

You know, it's just like you'll be excommunicated from polite society.

I only named some, but there was like 50 musicians that he's got on these albums, and it's pretty cool. Yeah. I heard him do Iron Man at one point.

It's he live on dead. I think on within his dead, we'll drop back in there. Why don't we credible, but what can you say for a 90-year-old singer?

Exactly.

So he does have some awards, like he did get one Golden Globe and two Emmys, and both were for when he was older, and he was playing in uh Boston Legal and The Practice. Like he got a Golden Globe for Boston Legal and two Emmys for the Practice for his acting there. Incredible. He was hamming it up on those, too.

Denny, this is Tara Wilson, a law student I spoke of. In need of employment. Yes, she's extremely talented. I can personally vouch for her skills as a paralegal as well as. Stand up, please.

Turn around, please. Let me tell you something, Tara. We hire only pretty people in this firm. Pretty people get better results. Pretty girls keep me aroused. I think more clearly when I'm aroused. Are you a pretty girl, soldier?

I am.

So good girl. At ease. I'm always at ease. So I like her.

But he's warm. I think his most his most famous is his like spoken word cover of Rocket Man. Yeah. Yeah, the Elton John. I'm a Rocket Man.

I think it's gonna be a long, long time. Don't touch town, bring me around again. I'm not the man they think I am. Oh no, no, no. I'm a Rocket Man.

Rocket Man. Burning on his views up here.

Oh that's nice.

That's the U, Kev. Alright, so um, you know, we talked about is it shitty cheese or is it is it delicious cheese? And and I gotta say, I'm kind of in the middle on this one, but more towards the delicious. It's David Hasselhoff.

Kid, check your scanners. You got a car out there? No, Michael, but there is a helicopter. All right, get in here fast!

Is oh yeah, yeah, yeah. The hoff is the hoff. And the hoff sounds, right? Isn't it Hoffman's? Got the nice uh sharp chatter there. So the hoff, the hoff is uh, I mean, he's just not don't hassle the hoff. From night rider to Baywatch, and the rest of his career is making fun of himself. He's an actor, he's Marlon Brando.

He's not as good as Marlon Brando. I was up for the part of Schindler. I could have seen you in that film with Whoa. Should have been Hasselhoff's list. I saved more people on Baywatch than Schindler saved in World War II. Easily.

You know, he's he's a musician as well. So that's the first one. Oh, he's huge in Germany. That's Norm MacDonald.

In Germany, a recent study found that if Germans could pick any American to be president of the United States, they would choose David Hasselhoff. Which once again proves my theory. Germans love David Hasselhoff.

I talk about it all the time. It's David Hasselhoff. He's huge in Germany.

Germany.

What is the male version of a bimbo? Mimbo. Is it himbo? Is that the correct term?

I believe it's mimbo.

Is it mimbo?

It's a man bimbo.

Right, or a himbo. Or a jigolo, I guess. I'm sure they could both work.

Is it a gigolo or a bimbo?

Just a gigolo. Just a mimbo.

Word himbo. Definitions. A himbo is an attractive but unintelligent man, typically characterized by a strong physique and an easy-going personality. Meanings. The term combines han and bimbo, referring to a male counterpart of the bimbo stereotype. Example one. The himbo at the gym spent more time flexing in the mirror than actually working out. Example two. She joked that her boyfriend was the definition of a himbo, always forgetting to do important tasks, but looking great doing nothing.

Nice Cav. Alright, Brother Mark.

Okay, um, this is Adam Sandler. My pick.

Buddy, I'm not paying you to hear your thoughts on life. I'm paying you to sing. Well, I have a microphone, and you don't.

So you will listen to every damn word I have to say.

Nice. I absolutely love Adam Sandler. He's from right down the road. He's live, you know, he's from Manchester, New Hampshire. He's a freaking Yankees fan, but I'll, you know, I'll forgive him for that. Geez, up and down the movie lineup. Just total cheese between Happy Gilmore using the golf clock as a hockey stick. You know, on the green.

All you gotta do is just tap it in. Just tap it in. Just tap it in.

Just tap it in. Give it a little tappy. Tap tap taparoo.

Yeah, he's just so funny. I love his humor, and he always brings the same guys with him, you know, and all these movies, and he's a very loyal guy. From what I hear, he's a really nice person, you know. Today, Junior! I mean, my favorite thing he's ever done has nothing to do with movies. It's still acting, though. And if I need somebody to watch, you know, we're gonna be going away, I need him, the hurley boy, to come in and take, you know, water my plants.

If you just let me water your plants. Come on, you're not gonna be there. Somebody's gotta water them. Why can't it be me? Please? Hey, hey, let me water your plants. Come on, let the boy water your plants. And everything.

I still love I love his put your arms around me, baby.

Have you ever heard that? Where you sing it all at a medium pace?

Put it in and out. See that shampoo bottle over there now?

Shove it up my house. I mean, I called it a medium piece.

As cheesy as his movies are, I always enjoyed them. They always put a smile on my face.

They're good movies.

You know, they feel good movies, you know, 50 First Dates.

Yep.

I mean, your lips are so juicy, and just that stupid song he sang that drew Barry Moore.

Oh, the wedding singer, too. Incredible movie. I love the wedding singer. Billy Madison, God, they're endless. And I love his entourage of friend actors, like from SNL, and yeah, just how they're always tight. It's fun. Grown-ups are the greatest movies, I think. You know, so good.

It was weird how comedy movies changed at that time, and I think he had a lot to do with it. And our age growing up into that, it was like weird because they didn't seem to be as thought out as comedy before him. Um, it seemed to change, and now, my god, I long for those movies. Yeah, because whatever they put out now, they call it a comedy, and it's like, no, that's not funny.

Right, it's not funny.

Do you guys remember a song? I don't even remember who it was, but he was going, Stop asking me the question. And he was saying, Who's the biggest jerk in Hollywood? Gary Beusey, who's the nicest man in Hollywood, Adam Sandler. Stop asking me the question.

It was, I don't know what it was on, but Oh, that was that was Biff from from um Yes Back to the Future.

Back to the Future. When I'm flying in a plane or I'm on the street, there's a lot of friendly people that I like to meet. They shake my hand but never ask my name. And they start asking questions that are always the same. Hey, what's Michael J. Fox like? He's nice, what's Christopher Lloyd like? Kinda quiet. What's Crispin Glover like? Unusual, stop asking me the question. I went to the barm and spot my nephew jumped. Now I'm not Jewish, but I like to not put on my yama books, started to pray. When the rabbit leaned all around, I heard him say, Hey, was that real manure? No, it wasn't. How was that Dolorean? Piece of garbage. Do those coverboards really fly? It's a movie. Stop asking me the question. Can we take your picture? Come on, look me. Would you call my friend a butthead on his answering machine? Questions, questions, fill my head. I went to my doctor, my doctor said, What does a key grip do? Set up lights. What does the best boy do up the key grip? What does a producer do? I don't know. Stop asking me the question. Do you all hang out together? No, we don't. How's Kristen Clover? I never talked to him. Back to the future for not happening. Stop asking me the question. Hey, who's the nicest famous guy you know? Adam Sandler. Who is the biggest jerk? Gary Bucy. How much money do you make? More than you do. So stop asking me the question.

Yeah, that's a good little ditty right there. I like that.

Yeah. I don't know where to find it. Too funny. Nice pick, Mark. Alright. What am I gonna do for my pick yet? What am I gonna do for my audible here?

Uh-oh.

I'm gonna go with Jim Carrey.

Alrighty. Hey, that was my one of my audibles.

I love Jim Carrey. I mean, he's had some incredible, increas. I love both of the Ace Venturas. I love Dumb and Dumber. He has so many great ones. He's got a few poor ones out there too. Like I hated the cable guy with a passion. I don't know why. Just couldn't stand it. But I mean, how can you not watch him move his ace ventura and not call it cheesy? Oh, he's so awesome in those.

Does he have any joints at all?

Incredible.

You know what I mean?

No, you're right. His face changes. Yeah, he's pretty bad. Burns into Clint Eastwood. Yeah.

Yeah. Brendan, I my buddy Brendan used to be able to lift one of his eyebrows like Carrie does all the time and just flick one side of it. It's hilarious. But back to your skit in the pool when he's being William Shatner. Uh and he starts when he comes out and he's talking to the guy about Snowflake the Dolphin. And he's like, Do you know him? Does he call you at home? Who the hell is that?

That's uh Heinz gits velvet! I am trainer of dolphins! You want to talk to the dolphin? You'll talk to me. What happened to the regular trainer? What happened to him? What happened to me? Seven years in this eighth raid. We are making the dolphins disappear, and then Roy is coming middle tiger, and a stopping in the pants, and I'm gone.

Where is Snowflake?

Why do you care about the dolphin? Do you know him? Does he call you at home? Do you have a dolphin? The dolphin's head and communicating. I'm saying the snowflake.

You can quote him. Fucking hilarious. And everything he does, man, and it's over-the-top cheese, but it works for him. One more scene, real quick, that is one of my favorites of all time is when in Dumb and Dumb are when they're riding with the guy that's trying to kill them, and then he's like, You want to hear the most annoying sound in the world?

Hey, you want to hear the most annoying sound in the world?

Guys, guys, guys.

Fellas.

And he's just like.

Hey Hare, you want to hear the second most annoying sound in the world? Sure. Yeah, that's pretty annoying. No, not that.

What the hell are you doing ringing our doorbell like that in the middle of the night?

That I still do that every time. Sam's Knight. I was way off. Samsonite.

I was way off. I gotta bring something up about Jim Carrey that I that impresses the hell out of me, the actual person. He's been taking on Hollywood the last few years. In other words, the stuff. Oh my god. The rituals they have, all this evil crap, and um, you know, he went on Jimmy Kimmel and did this little sign. You know what that is. Like, you don't know what that is. And um he was he had an interview with the Golden Globes, and some star-gazing freaking bimbo is like uh how do you feel about being with all these icons tonight? I don't believe in icons. You realize this is the most meaningless thing.

This is the first time I've run in to Jim Carrey. Wait, tell me, or is it true you're wandering the streets? You need a date to the party? What's up?

No, no, no. I'm I'm I'm doing just fine. Uh I just uh, you know, there's no meaning to any of this. So I uh I wanted to find the most meaningless thing that I could find come to and join, and uh, and uh and here I am. There's something you gotta admit it's completely meaningless.

Well, they say they're celebrating icons inside breathing.

Boy, that is just the absolute lowest aiming, you know, possibility that we could come up with. It's like icons. What do you do you believe in icons? I don't believe in personalities. I don't believe that you exist, but there is a wonderful fragrance in the air that it's never happened.

Good for him.

I love this unbelievable.

I need to lose.

So, yeah, I've had a lot of respect for him now. And he says, I've already done it, I've made enough money and I've done enough. You'll never hear that from anyone else in Hollywood, he said.

Good for him.

Anyhow, yeah.

That's awesome. Cool. Yes, I'm indeed him. All right, that brings us to number four, and that's to you, Dongo. And it is your favorite cheesy TV show.

Cool. This one was a little hard for me, actually, because uh, you know, there was a couple that I could have done, and I I hope I don't steal this one from you guys, but I wanted to, as my 2A actor was the Hoff, I have to do the Knight Rider. Yes, as uh cheesy TV show, and it's night with a K, Knight Rider on September 26, 1982. The Hoff, Davil Hasselhoff, plays Michael Arthur Long, who was shot in the face. He was a police officer who was shot in the face, so they brought him back to life. They changed his appearance and they gave him a car kit, K-I-T-T, which is the night industry's 2000 spelled out TWO thousand, which is kind of stupid. The 1982 Pontiac Firebird Transam. But uh, awesome. I mean, he was just so cheesy in that show. Oh my gosh.

Michael, surely you're not planning to go nose to nose with that behemoth.

That's what I want Garth to think, pal. But if we're quick enough, we could knock out his right front wheel.

Absolutely cheese. I loved it. I watched that show all the time as a kid. I loved it. Favorite.

That show has a special meaning to me, believe it or not. When I was uh I probably I may or may not have brought this up, but um, when I was working at John O's, a store down the road when I lived in Manchester, it was the year David and I and AJ got seasoned tickets to the Patriots, it would come on at noon. And I just remember the song, and I he had a TV. I was working behind the registers. That song, I mean, that show will always be special because we're gonna get a little bit and that meant I was okay, almost done work, and I was gonna go to the game the next day. It's just yeah.

Perfect.

Just a little anecdote. Okay.

Did I steal it from you? Sorry. That's awesome.

And now, a short commercial break. Hello, C D listeners. We've come to the point in this album where those listening on cassette or records will have to stand up or sit down and turn over the record or tape. In fairness to those listeners, we'll now take a few seconds before we begin side two.

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Pop Brocks, Jack, Stretch Armstrong, Jack, the Bionic Man. Jack.

You've gone back in time. This is Pastime's at 80s high.

Thank you. Here's side two.

Nice, Dawn. Okay, Kev. All right. The best actor on that show, Dawn, was uh William Daniels, the voice of Kit. I thought he was the best actor in that whole situation.

Wait a minute. The car didn't really talk.

My car talks, man. I need the 82 days. You leave your lights on, the car say, lights are on. It does. I take a girl and I leave the lights on on purpose, you know. Get out of the car, like I say, lights are on. I said, Yeah, it is. I bought it from my neighborhood though, man. It got a different rhythm to it. You leave your lights on the council. Say, man, you left your lights on. I said your lights are on, man. What the fuck, you blind man? Turn off your fucking lights. Hey man, somebody stole your battery. I say we go get the motherfucker.

Oh my god! That was aftermarket. That was aftermarket. Didn't Pontiac didn't put him out that way. So I had no problem whatsoever picking the show. And I think most of the world is with me, but there are a few people out there that for some reason liked it, but I'm sure I've talked about the fact before that I just don't do musicals. I apologize, just can't do it. People don't break out into song and dance around. The worst television show that ever existed in all of time was cop rock.

Oh my god.

It was so bad. I just like so there's it was and it was Botchko and and some of the other guys that did Hill Street Blues and whatever else. And I think they were just they say it was based on the singing detective, the BBC show. But in reality, I thought I think they went, well, people love cop shows and everybody's watching MTV, so let's put them together. And I don't think they thought any further than that. And there's this one scene, I think it might be the first episode, where the cop is, you know, like they would at Hill Street Blues, the other ones. The cop is the the chief is standing there and he's talking to everybody before they go out on their duty, right? And they're all sitting around, they have a few jokes and whatever else, and and he's talking, and then he just starts singing about let's be careful out there.

Item last on the teletype, we still got the Franklin Avenue Flasher. Struck at two outdoor weddings and a school picnic so far this month. Male cock 6'3. Look for tattoos in unusual places. Okay, that's it.

And Henny, Henny, let's be careful out there. Let's be careful out there. We had a water step and at the time on the corner of the corner. Move it on the space to the four.

And he starts doing this absolutely ludicrous song, and then at one point he spins around and he takes the lectern that he speaks from, and he spins it around, and it's a keyboard, and he starts playing keyboards. Who could watch that? Who? I wanted I wanted to find these people, and I won't name any of the actors in the show because there was a handful of them that were like, you know, character actors, and I don't want to besmirch them by bringing up the painful fact that they were in this steaming pile of dung.

Oh yeah.

That was someone called it God's Punishment on Society for all the evil that we have done. That's perfect.

It's such a terrible show. Oh, so bad. It's so bad. I vaguely remember that. Oh, I thought you were gonna say glee, which I actually liked, but I'm with you on musical shows, not a fan.

Yeah. Right. At least in Glee, they when they sang it was like performances, usually. Yeah, usually it wasn't like they were just like walking down the street and da-da-da-da-da-da. Just all right. I think I'll get a Coca-Cola.

You know what happened right here 20 years ago.

Right here, Mom? Mm-hmm. You just can't imagine what it felt like.

I'd like to buy the world a home and finish it with love. Raw apple trees and honey bees.

And it had something to do with the subject matter as well. You know? Nice pet cab. That never popped up to me. I mean, that's because it was so forgettable, probably.

I I don't, I mean, I don't vaguely remember that.

Uh I just remember because it might have been the stupidest idea ever.

Duh. There's been a lot of them. As a child that way.

But then I watched a couple episodes and she was kind of hot.

I thought she was hot, and I was only like six years old a lot.

Yeah, you're more advanced than me, alright? They had cooties at me, it seems. You know, but uh, yeah. She there was an innocence. In fact, David Cassidy said he the reason he wasn't really interested in her is because she didn't have that slutiness to her personality and the way she lived her life. Yeah, he liked her.

That sounds about on par.

Yeah. So yeah, I was getting back to the cows. They I mean they were a band that the four bourbons that wanted to have a rock and roll band, and their father was a fucking prick. An absolute prick, destroyed their lives. He brought in a couple other uh, you know, the wife and the daughter, and yeah, you listen to their music, it does sound a lot like stuff that the Partridge family did. One other thing on the show, do you remember that there was a brunette kid, and then they just changed him later on? A blonde kid came to him.

I hate it when they do that on show. I do too.

And sometimes they don't have a choice. Just for men, apply, and in five minutes rinse. Jerry Goffin of Goffin and King, one of the most prolific songwriters ever, wrote a lot of the songs for them, as well as Rupert Holmes of Pina Colada fame, uh and arranged a lot of the Partridge family songs. Wow. Yeah. So there was some talent behind them.

That's why they're kind of catchy. Yeah. Very catchy. Shirley Jones, she kind of reminded me of Mom AJ. Oh, really? A little bit. Yeah. I mean, in the way she Yeah, which is the biggest compliment you can get out of me and you, you know. Of course. But yeah, it's big time fun as far as I'm concerned. Awesome. Just happy, fuzzy, good old.

Joy, joy.

Yes, exactly.

Nice pet, Mark. And I gotta tell you, so we're off to me, but when you said early 70s, I was trying to be able to do that.

Yeah, I yeah, I you thought I was I'm not a big fan of the city.

I thought you were going with mine. No, and I had to. I I had a couple here for Audibles, but how can I not go with Land of the Lost? Oh my god. There is nothing cheesier than Marshall Wilman Hawley on the routine expedition that the greatest earthquake ever known. And the slee stacks and chaka and that was the cheesiest show in the history of cheese. Exactly, but boy, oh boy, was it so important to me. Obviously, I must have watched it in syndication, or I was like two, I think.

Yeah, no, we we were watching it with Brother David. I never liked it, though. It used to drive me insane.

God, well, I was so into dinosaurs, and that is what r was my draw to it was Alice, the Allosaurus. And every time that dinosaur would come on, and then the slea stacks would freak me out. But my creepy god, just go watch the intro to that out there, folks, and they go down the waterfall, and it's just 100% pure Fargan cheese.

All around, I can't believe the things I found.

I watched it solely for the special effects. Same reason I watched Dark Shadows, right?

I saw something on TikTok or something that someone was like, This is when my anxiety developed, or whatever, and it was the slea stacks and how creepy they were, you know.

Ajax, can you guys make it?

Yeah, who could do the Donnie? You're the kick of that. Come on, you can do the sound.

I I don't I I feel like the slea stacks definitely extended it, but that game, what was the game where you set the timer and you had to put all the yellow shapes in? Perfection. Perfection. Yeah. That's where anxiety is. There was no anxiety on the planet until that Fargan game came out and it diffused a bomb.

The pieces in the slot make the right selection, but be quick for racing the proceeding.

Perfection's the race to beat the clock. If you're not quick, perfection from Milton Bradley.

I'm feeling anxious right now just thinking about it.

So even at my young age, I knew they couldn't act on that show. I mean, what was I? It was kind of the you know, it's like nine or ten years old. I'm like, oh my god, I can't watch that. Terrible.

But they can't all be Sid and Marty Croft.

Exactly, right? All right, so that brings us to number five to you, Dongo, and that is your favorite cheesiest movie.

All right. I gotta I might break some rules here. I gotta break some rules. Because the movie came out in 2004, but the book was written in 1996. That's acceptable. That the movie was adapted off of, and the movie is the notebook, which is the most cheesiest love movie ever. And if you don't cry, you're you're not a human being. You know, it's like if you don't dance for but if you don't cry in the notebook, you're not a human. Agreed, even though it is much cheese. Um with Ryan Gosling, Rachel Adams.

Please don't draw me no diaphragms, huh?

My favorite part of that movie, and every guy can relate to this, when he's like yelling at her, he's like, What do you want?

And she's like, Like, what do you want? We're already fighting. Well, that's what we do. We fight. You tell me when I'm being an arrogant son of a bitch, and I tell you when you're being a pain in the ass. Which you are, 99% of the time. Stop thinking about what I want. What he wants, what your parents want. What do you want? What do you want? It's not that simple. What do you want? What do you want? I have to go.

We're simple creatures. Just tell us. Ladies out there, just tell your men what you want. Exactly. We'll do it. But we will not read your mind.

Kinison did that well before. Kinnyson did a bit of a what do you want? You want me to put a boxing glove on the end of a chainsaw? Harder? What do you want? Tell us.

I'm filming a shit. How can we do it if we don't know? What the fuck? Tell us what you want. We'll do it. Will we do it, guys?

The biggest complaint I have of that movie was the, you know, James Garner is an amazing actor, right? Oh my god. But he is in no way the older rendition of Ryan Gosling. Like, there is like you got a blondish, you know, kind of skinny dude, and then you have like a very rugged, stout brunette in James Garner. That didn't work. I mean, he's a good actor, but you could have found better, and the same thing with Gina Rollins playing Rachel McAdams. There were better actors out there to play the older them, but that's a small complaint in the in the scheme of things.

But you're absolutely correct, though, Dongo, because just make get somebody that resembles it. Right. You know, but that's also some of my favorite parts of that movie were with James Garner.

Oh, and him to the whites separately, which is amazing. Yeah. You know, um, and you know, the the dementia and that that tears at heart strings anyone's ever had to deal with that stuff.

Dave David Cassidy actually had dementia. That that liver disease, I don't know how we got horrible disease.

And it it's not necessarily horrible to the person inflicted by it, it's horrible to the family. Oh, yes, you know, that you live. Yeah.

And it's it's I would imagine that it's only horrible for the victim while they have flashes of clarity. Once the flashes of clarity have gone, right, then you know what I mean? You don't you don't know.

Oh yeah. My I remember dad being frightened at times, and that was so awful. Great pick, though, Dongo. Awesome movie, too. Extraordinaire. Yes, but great.

All right, Kevin, what do you got? I got From Cheese I Hate to Cheese I Love, and that's 1980s Flash Gordon. Yes, yeah. What an amazing sound. I mean, to bring Queen in and the soundtrack and the way that they took audio from the film and wove it in. It was it was fantastic. It was the debut of Sam J. Jones, also the end of his career mostly. It it didn't last long. He didn't become um the leading man they thought he would. Um uh Melody Anderson as the love interest was was very fine. Oh yeah. Uh Tim Dalton as the uh as the bad guy. Uh my favorite was Brian Blest, the English actor that played, was it Prince Voltan?

Oh, well, I'm still in Far.

Oh my god. But the big guy said it was like he is such an he's been into a lot of British stuff, and he was in the old Black Adder and whatever else, and just he is like the epitome of a stage actor that projects everything and just so awesome.

Yeah, he was awesome in that.

I just love that movie. The movie's awesome. Did they have sequels, or was it the idea was to make a uh a franchise out of it, but it kind of bombed and and and and that was the end of the thing.

Because it was right around Star Wars time and it just didn't meet up to it, but oh my god, talk about different in special effects, yeah, right? Yeah, um, talk about anxiety when they were sticking their hands in that thing, god and the thing would bite or whatever, that was anxiety provoking. Yeah, that was and that's a scene that always stuck with me, too.

Like, yeah.

Death is certain, but only after tortured madness. How long? Hours, days, depending on your strength.

But when he's riding that thing, it's almost like a sea-doo or whatever. It's like a narwhal, too, with a big spear on it, and it's like flash dee at the very end, you know. That was an awesome scene, you know. The music's playing, the rock and music. Yeah. Yeah, Max von Sideout.

I mean, just great cast, you know, they spent tons of money getting Queen to do the the soundtrack. They put everything they had into it, and it just one of those ones that just never lived up to the to the sum of its parts.

In a cheesy way. Yeah. Oh, it was great. All right, brother Mark, that's to you.

Mocha looka look on Kathy, Kathy, Mocha, look, I look a look at Kathy, Kathy. I am speaking of big man on campus.

I'm not even sure if they made it to the theaters. Bob was played by Alan Katz. He was a hunchback. Early on, his mother died, his dad was killed in Vietnam or something, and they took him to a home and they they beat him. They beat him, they kicked him and everything, and he lived above a campus. I don't know what college. I mean, he was a very unkept fellow, and they thought he was dumber than a box of rocks. He wasn't dumb, but this is extremely cheese. I think me and Ben watched this back in the day, back in uh old Prescott Hill, because it it came out in the 80s, but it went straight to VHS at the time. And Shirley, who played Shirley? That was Cindy Williams. She was one of the uh actresses on it. She was kind of um teaching him how to read and everything, and he already knew how to read. He's reading a doggone porn book, you know, one of those uh raunchy novels or whatever.

So trying to follow along. This guy was somehow like tortured and then put in a room.

So he escaped.

He escaped, he escaped tortured himself male, yeah, was placed above a college, and then somehow he tortured again. Yeah. It's a quasimodo takeoff. Oh, okay. Right, exactly.

Yeah, so and one one of the scenes in the uh the him and um I think it's I don't I don't remember it's Kathy. He's in love with Kathy, as we can tell by the song. Oh, and his name, by the way.

He came up with his own name. Bob Maluga, Loga, Loga, Loga, Luga. Bob.

Bob.

Bob.

Maluga Luga. Loga Luga Luga.

Well, Mr. Maluga Luga. Luga Luga Luga. Luga, yeah. One Maluga for Lugas. Alright. Why don't I just call you Bob?

And uh, it was just it was really adorable and just I mean adorable.

It was cheesy as I get out, but it was extremely like the most fucked up movie I've ever heard about. And the funny thing is, brother, is I have no iota of a memory of said movie, but I remember that song very well.

It was a Kathy, Kathy, Kathy, Mocha loca, lookah, Kathy.

You guys must just sing it all the time. Oh my god. That's great.

Yeah, there is. I actually now that I figured out what the name I missed the name of it, but I do vaguely remember. And that was yeah, Cindy, Cindy Williams from Shirley, yeah, yeah.

Yeah, so I mean, I haven't seen it since the checkout people. Yeah. How can you not? It's kind of heartwarming a little bit in a very incredibly cheesy way.

Well, who didn't feel bad for the hunchback of Notre Dame, right?

Yeah, just check it out. You know, watch it as far as you can. You know, it's good.

It's funny, too funny, cool, nice mark. All right, number five to me. I'm going with 1985, and you want to talk about pure cheese. This is a movie called The Last Dragon, and this would be Leroy, or as he'd like to call himself, Bruce Leroy, went to New York, and he was trying to find the glow, which was the final level of martial arts. Like you'd get the glow, and this had vanity in it, which my second pick ironically also had vanity in it, but I won't name it. But just I mean, I don't know if you guys remember any of this, but the villain in it was shownuff, and he was like the Shogunna Harlem and just was after Leeroy all the time, and it was first of all, if anyone knows Vanity, hot but terrible, yeah, terrible actress, and it's just it's the worst movie that I loved. Like, I don't know how. Every time it popped on the TV, I I watched the whole damn thing, and it was fun as hell.

Leroy Green, I'm looking for.

No Pop thinks he's a Kung Fu master. I am no master. He sure looked like a master to me.

This is Barry Gordy's The Last Dragon.

I'll leave it at that and go to you, Donnie. Which is your favorite cheesy pickup line, one-liner, or joke.

Alright, and this one is one that came from Mr. Salty. Oh. Uh, aka your dad. Yes. Uh, I believe it came from him. I know we used to say this all the time. It's not a pickup line, but it's kind of an opener. And I've always waited for the opportunity for this. It would be like in an elevator with a hot girl alone. Maybe not alone, because you need a witness so you don't get accused of something. So picture the elevator doors close, and you turn over and you say, Can I smell your pussy? And then maybe she slaps you or something like that, and then you you would reply, Oh, it must be your feet then.

Oh, so funny and so disgusting.

Second floor, hardware, children's wear, ladies' lingerie. Oh, good morning, Mr. Tyler. Going down.

That's spectacular, though. Do you recall that, AJ? Didn't come from your I love that, but when I was thinking of a pickup line, and I don't think that would work. No, like I said, never know line.

This would be an opener, like an icebreaker. An icebreaker, yes.

Oh, yeah, that used to be one of our favorites. That was like just think about that. No, oh, it must be your feet. It's so funny. So funny. Oh, spectacular though, Dung. Uh, it made my ears warm.

I'm laughing so hard.

All right, Cap. That's to you. And see, I remember that one the opposite way. Can I smell your feet? No. Well, it must be all right. I guess it worked either way. Yeah, it's gonna get you slapped either way. Um, so for the pickup line, there's so many, because they all seem cheesy to me. You know, standing behind a bar for decades, I just watched all of these pathetic pickup lines. Terrible. We didn't say it's really it's torturous, you know, and it's and it's really weird because of the male-female dynamic, it's the guy's responsibility to initiate contact.

Yes.

It's tough, it's tough to do, and often ends up looking pathetic. Um, so I would always opt for one of the options that would be considered a loaded or a complex question, uh, also known as Morton's Fork or catch 22, where you're damned if you uh if you do and damned if you don't, right?

Um you laugh in the face of the fates. Sorry.

Like one of the political things would be an example of that would be have you stopped beating your wife, sir? Right. Oh god, yeah. In a cross-examination. You can't answer that. Yes. No, I never wait. There's anywhere you answer, you're done for. So that's why I always loved if I said you had a beautiful body, would you hold it against me?

If I said you have a beautiful body, would you hold it against me?

There's no way for her to answer that, right? There is no way, either way, right? You're on your way. Right? You are on your way, and yet they couldn't help but laugh, you would think. Yeah, you've eliminated any escape for her because whatever she answers, you're in a way. Exactly.

Or she's a raging bitch and doesn't get it and tells you to fuck off. But you have your answer. You said right, you have your answer any way you slice it. Right, right. I can't deny it. There's two, Mark, and one pick. Oh, that's perfect, Kev. Um, thank you for taking mine as well. And I will go to you, Brother Mark.

Pardon me. Santa must have come early this year because you were first on my Christmas list. Oh boy. That was from I that that okay, that was actually from a movie, Latrell Spencer, played by Terry Cruz on White Chicks.

Santa must have come early this year. Because you were first on my Christmas list.

Woo! There it is, right there. Why don't you take you and your 1980 pickup lines, climb all the way up to the top of the Empire State Building, beat on your big old monkey chest, and then jump up.

It was so pathetic.

It is pathetic.

I mean, pickup lines, pickup lines as a whole are cheese to begin with. Like any pickup line is cheese immediately. Yeah.

Unless you just go and yeah, Bob would have probably Bob Muga Maluga Luga Luga Luga Luga would have just gone in and picked up the girl.

But uh I'm gonna take you home and squeeze you and call him George. Get a box of rabbits, George.

Call him George called them our own. I will name him George and I will hug him and squeeze him.

Yeah, so I don't I don't use pickup lines. I mean, I never did.

Yeah, I mean nobody the trick is the niche is trying to figure out new ones, like come up with new ones, yeah.

I tried actually last night, I was trying to think of my own and I couldn't because I have no game.

Donnie, do you remember when we were at the yard in Manchester UI and Brother David? I walked up to this most unapproachable, beautiful blonde girl you've ever seen, just sitting there acting annoyed in the bar. And I just went up to her and I knew it it was gonna be a big failure. I just went up and said, excuse me, me and my friends are lost. Can you give us directions to Ape City? And she goes, You're bugging me! And I just broke down laughing my head off. I just thought it was the funniest thing, and I knew it. I knew the result. And uh, oh my god, it was so funny.

Ape City. That's so spectacular.

You have to take a spacecraft, go through a time concept.

Oh, didn't you like to make it?

I love you. Three miles down Route Three, right? Exactly. That I would just laugh at that and want to sleep with the girl.

It was just something fun to do. You know, I was having I was probably just feeling what the fuck.

Good for you, because those those girls, they they either those are the ones that you know usually nobody approaches because and then if if they are kind of conceited, then good for them. Like give them a you know, give them a joke, make them laugh.

Exactly, or make yourself laugh. Yeah, you're bugging me, yeah.

Right. Well, that's a clear by too.

Exactly. Well, I knew I I I could tell by your mannerisms, and I says Donnie Age, I mean Donnie David, watch this. Yeah, and you guys were laughing too.

Yeah, oh nice, Mark. All right, to me, and I would never ever try it, but the only reason I'm going with this is I witnessed somebody do this line. And I won't you I'll only use the first name and oh oh, I'll use a nickname, and we called him Les Donald. Okay, and this was Is your father an astronomer? Because he picked the stars out of the sky and put them into your eyes. Oh my god! Yep, and guess what? He banged her that night.

And if it's a clear night, I'm gonna lay some romantic astronomy on her.

Like what? Show me.

I can't do that to Leonard. This is some powerful panty dropping stuff.

You have my blessing, go for it.

And that makes me sick. How did that work? And it just goes to show that sometimes confidence is all that matters. Because that's how much fucking more terrible than that could you ever get?

Oh my god, how stupid of a woman to fall for that.

Pure cheese. But you know what? Sometimes they just want to see the confidence, I think. And like this asshole just had the confidence to say that stupid line to me. I'm intrigued. Mark had the confidence to say that where's Ape City? Exactly. That's where I was going with it, kind of amazing. All right, so we are to number seven, correct? And that is your favorite cheesiest wardrobe item or hairstyle.

Cool. So before I do that, I'm I'm gonna show my t-shirt, Skynet, because as we film this show, beautiful.

I need to know how Skynet gets built. Who's responsible?

The man most directly responsible is Miles Bennett Dyson.

Oh, Terminator, yeah, the Terminator.

Yes.

So in that movie, uh a person, uh, I can't think of her name right now, but um, I'm going with the Fair Fawcett hairstyle. Ah, yeah. Which is a feathered layered blowout is the technical term for it. And so many ladies of the late 70s, early 80s, fairy faucet was obviously you know the most associated with it, but Jacqueline Smith, Cheryl Ladd, Suzanne Summers, Linda Carter, Olivia Newton John, Heather Locklear. Um and now, if anybody's been keeping up with the Ella Langley, who's like a country star now, she's kind of gone to it. And it kind of, you know, bringing it back. You see pictures of her before she went with the style now. So the the uh the feathered layer blowout definitely does well on the female species, and still does, clearly.

Like they're different, yeah, pretty much, yeah.

Yeah, yeah. So that's what I'm going with.

Nice. All right, Kevin. What do you got? All right, so you know, looking this up, it really pissed me off, and I'll tell you why in a second. Um, I was very much a chess king guy back in the day. Me too.

It was the place to go. Think about it.

The world on your mind, the music on your mind, chess king on your body.

Very conservative look. For some reason, Bob Kraft is still wearing those shirts 50 years down the road. Uh, you know, the white-collared powder blue or pink shirts with a tie bar. I had several of those. Um, but then all of a sudden, Merry Go Round showed up and changed the whole metric. We went from a very conservative crimson and gray and dark blues, pinstripes, to these pukey pastel colors that were just so obnoxious. Wow.

Yeah.

And and I walked into this Merry-Go-Round because it's, you know, I went to go to Chess King and it had been bought out by Merry-Go-Round. And the only reason I walked in was because, oh, okay, so this is new what's here. This amazing blonde, long blonde, curly hair, short, had all the right thick features and all that. And she damn well knew what she was doing. She just picked out some clothes for me, and I just went, okay, right? Um, I'm talking, and they call them. This is the thing, this is what happens when people don't do what we're doing, is people that don't know categorize things. They're calling these parachute pants. They are not parachute pants. Parachute pants were the nylon, they they kind of fit tight. They had eight dozen zippers in zippers. Those are parachute pants. What I'm talking about is the weight lifting or wrestling pants that were the predecessor to the MC Hammer pants.

You can't touch this. You can't touch this.

But they didn't have the crotch come down to your knees. That's right. They were like a baggy sweatpant.

Tight at what they were, tight at the waist, baggy everywhere else.

Yes. And you can think I I I looked it up, it wasn't on there, but for some reason I saw Wesley Snipes in them in um White Man. Can't jump, but I couldn't find a picture to prove that they're all wearing shorts. But I think he does because later they got like the tribal prints and all that, and they were all these just horrendous colors. I'm pretty sure the pair that I had or the pairs that I had were Everlast. Um and the ones that I remembered distinctly, because if again, if it wasn't for this hot blonde, I never would have bought them. I never would have put them on. No way in here. And she never had any intention of doing anything other than taking my money. But they were white and they had paint splatters of gray, neon yellow, and neon orange. Oh, you must have looked hot. Hideous. Absolutely hideous.

We gotta search for those. They gotta be out there somewhere.

I've I have not been able to find that pair. Just like I went to look for the wrestling sneakers I got back in like 90. Oh, I used to wear those all the time, and I can't box find the ones that I had because they were the coolest fucking shoes ever. They were so cool, and nobody was wearing them as sneakers. They weren't, they were more of a mid-ankle, not a high top. Yeah, but they had that like swat shaped flat wrestle. Yeah, exactly.

What we use for deadlifting. That's uh Wayne from Galaxy Gym. He you know, buy wrestling uh shoes for deadlifting. That's what David wore to drum.

Exactly, but they were weightlifting pants, they were not parachute negative.

Let's let's get that clear damn clear because the parachute pants had 82 zippers, and they were usually body glove or ocean Pacific.

I remember the everlast ones, too, definitely. AG, one of our listeners, I can't remember his name off the top of my head, but he would wear those. He's a big, big muscle guy. Moose. Okay, yeah. He would, I remember him wearing those pants all the time. Too funny.

Awesome pick, Kevin. All right, brother. What do you got?

Well, before I get to my pick, Kevin, I mean, you brought up Bob Kraft, Robert Kraft. You're talking about the Patriots owner, right? No, the other Bob Kraft. Okay, sign Christian Gonzalez. What the hell is this? Everyone else from that draft class sign their friggin' extensions. What is your problem? You print money down there. Okay. So anyway, I'm going with something that I find cheesy on more than one level. Definitely more than one level. Um, this is boat shoes with no socks.

Boat shoes. Probably the most hated shoe in menswear. This shoe has been heavily memed a couple of years back, and it just created this stigma on boat shoes being only for frat bros, a douche, or just some pompous trust fund kid.

This was massive in the 1980s.

Boat shoes, definitely, yeah.

All right, no socks.

Yeah. Talk about smelling your feet. Oh. Had they not invented the no show sock yet?

But let me tie this into cheese, okay? Um there is a cheese called Limburger Cheese. And I don't know if you guys remember the uh cheese head. Uh obviously the cheese heads. I hate feet as it is. I don't even like my own feet, but uh I punch my feet. I hate feet so much I punch them. But let that go. So if you guys remember, there was um a commercial and where they were these two cartoon guys or whatever go into a Packers game, and they says, To show our support for the team, we're gonna put real cheese on our head. And he put a big thing of Limburger cheese on his head, and he goes, I smell feet. And uh obviously, if you're wearing shoes without socks, your feet are gonna smell like Limburger cheese.

Right. There is no way, absolutely no way, that I could wear shoes with no socks. And I'm gonna completely honest, no offense to anyone out there. If I see a man wearing shoes with no socks, it changes my opinion of him.

Me too. I hate him immediately.

Honestly, and both hate him immediately, but I in that time frame, and people would wear them without socks, and they had the rawhide laces, yeah, yeah, pigs, yeah. To be fair, it does look incredibly stupid if you do wear socks, though, unfortunately. But you need those, you need those like no see them, or when you go to try-on shoes, it you need those like nile bond kind of you know, below the eight something feet in the shoe, right?

Oh no, it was a it was a nasty friggin' style.

I couldn't agree with you more, both of you, or all of you, with changing the opinion of a human that doesn't wear socks and wears boat shoes, the smell like they're assholes.

Not not being an outdoorsy type, when my son was younger and we would go to Boy Scout camp. You obviously didn't want, as a matter of fact, I had to one day. I had some uh crew socks, some black crew socks, and I had to wear them with shorts because my other socks were I don't know, being washed or something, and everybody goes, Hey, leisure suit Larry, what's going on? Uh you can't you can't wear shorts with ankles, I mean with crew socks. So I would buy the ones calf or put them all the way down to your ankle. Yeah, so I would buy just for those camping trips, I would buy those ankle socks, the ones that didn't, you know, they just barely came up over the edge of the of the sneaker. Yeah.

Well, I wear the shorter ones. I mean, I think most people those are too tall, yeah.

Yeah, those those are taller than I would do, but still somewhat acceptable. Um, it it's like the guy with the compression, the black compression socks. Donnie's got no socks at all.

No, I have socks on. Oh, you got the you got the ankle socks. I got the height of ones. Oh, there you go.

I like them like a few inches over my shoe. But remember the tube socks up to the knee with the three stripes up there.

That was more of a 70s thing, wasn't it? 70s.

I would like to wear at one point the the sport ones with the two stripes or the three stripes, yeah. You know, the green or the red those crank them up to my knee. Yeah, and wear your shorts just to play the knee type.

So only your kneecap shows.

Even in Major League Baseball, they don't start rubs. I don't want you know, there are a few players that will wear them all the way up, but uh most of them have it all the way down to their ankles. You can't even see their socks. Yeah, and you play for the Red Sox of White, the Red Sox of the White Sox, you should you need to show your socks, exactly. Yeah, so anywho.

All right, boat shoes, brother.

That's a great pick. Boat shoes without socks, and it's very cheesy, yes, indeed. It is smells like Limburger, Limburger cheese.

Yeah.

All right, so that's gonna be seven to me, but before I do start my number seven, and here's a bonus of going last because if it's okay with you guys, I'm gonna go with the whole getup. Um, but I did want to say we have a bonus category coming up after this, uh, just a quick one. But anyway, my number seven is gonna be the whole wardrobe and hairstyle, and I ran it. And you want to talk about cheesy? This is terrible and disgusting and just awful, but it was Spandex pants, okay? And these were kind of capri's, the one I'm talking about. So they came up like halfway up your calf. Oh, and then the cutoff t-shirt. So it was cut off just under your chest, and maybe even with a couple holes cut into it to look cool. I remember that, and then of course, the massive, massive mullet down your ass. Right? But I'll never forget I picked a girl up at Funspot one night. Dongo, you were with me. I will not use the name of said girl, but I had a pair of spandecks on that, like I said, were halfway up my calves. They were black with a huge white stripe down the side with a metallic blue word down it saying sport. Cut-off white t-shirt with a couple holes cut into it, and boy, did I have a rocking mullet.

That iconic phrase, business in the front, party in the back, wasn't just a joke, it was the ethos of an era.

And what an asshole I must have looked like. I can't even get over it. Like that. Yeah, I think it's any of the above, and just awful. But that was in that was the thing. It's so crazy. I mean, what a terrible, terrible style time, but you know what? It's coming full circle, just like we've talked about other things, like the I've seen people with mullets nowadays, hockey hair, baby. Yeah, hockey hair.

Baseball players are wearing mullets now.

Yeah, we saw a ton of them at the concert last night.

Yeah, incredible, pure fargan cheese, and now what we're gonna do is we're gonna go into our bonus episode as Dongo picked the cheesiest stuff ever here. So we are gonna name our actual favorite cheese.

All right, I'm gonna go with a gouda, and just you know, there's a lot of variations of the gouda, but I like how gouda can melt very well for um your homemade mac and cheese. Um, it's you know, smoked gouda is a very popular gouda cheese, it's just a good at all-purpose cheese. I like it.

It's smooth, grilled cheese as well. Yes, awesome pet gongo.

What do you got, Kev? I love all cheese. Cheese is life, but I had to pick one, and I love the tangy taste and the amazing texture of feta cheese. Makes a salad come to life. Lovely. All right, brother Mark.

What do you got?

Okay, uh, this cheese I love. I mean, I I find you get ripped off a little bit because somebody comes and eats these little holes out of it. But I'm a huge fan of Swiss cheese, you know, rated on a Reuben, freaking pastrami. I love Swiss cheese.

Nice, nice. Swiss needs to be melted.

I got yeah, agreed. That's true. I totally agree.

Agreed. All right, well, I'm shocked that not one of us took cheddar, although my mine might be a form of it, but Kevin had taken this or mentioned it earlier in the show, and because of my father's sandwiches, this is Hoffman's super sharp, and they have a whole line of cheeses, but he claims it was the super sharp cheddar. It tasted between cheddar and American to me, but it was so powerful on those friggin' sandwiches, it just kicked you in the ass when you took a bite of it. Incredible cheese. And now Hannaford stopped selling it. You gotta go to market basket to get it. It angers me greatly. What an incredible cheese, and what an incredible cheesy podcast, guys. That was a lot of fun, I think. Man, I love doing this with you guys and everyone out there. Thank you so much. Uh, it's so great to see the feedback. Please keep it coming. We'll definitely give you shout-outs out there, and something we're gonna do coming up here is a little another, not the preachers, but another side cast. We're gonna shorten them up a bit and just give you a little quick, you know, hello and have some nice subjects coming out there. So please keep your eye out for that. Dungo, I thank you for this amazing subject.

All right, thanks, guys.

We'll see you, see you soon, indeed, Kevin. Thank you, gentlemen. Thank you, Donnie. Yeah, cheese, brother Mark.

That was fun, man. That was a lot of fun, and I'm looking forward to uh these little short casts. They're gonna be fun too, man.

Damn right. And thank you out there once again. Please email us pta80h at gmail.com and check out the website at past times at eighties high. That's 80 S for eighties, and we are out. Cheese glorious cheese.

So sumptuous and luscious.

Cheese cheese makes everything sumptuous.